MISS BECKY, SHE SO FUNNY

Shoppers' Paradise - Main Street Cilegon

Dearest Friends,

Rather than drag it out, I might as well admit to my most embarrassing Anyer Beach moments all in one letter.  Notice I said "Anyer Beach moments", not moments ever, nor moments abroad, or even moments in Indonesia.  You see, humiliating myself is one thing I happen to be quite good at, so I've managed to collect at least several such memories in almost every place we've lived.

The fabric store, and an Indonesian math lesson.

The first in Anyer Beach was the avocado incident.  John's favorite salad at the AB restaurant was the Avocado Vinaigrette -- a half avocado with a bit of pickle relish placed in the cavity, that has been drizzled with a vinaigrette dressing.  Easy peasy, right?  So I decided to fix it for him myself.  Only, when I was scraping some food scraps into the toilet from the same plate that held the avocado pit, the pit got away from me and landed in the toilet too.  In fact, it went so far down the toilet that I was unable to reach it with my hand.  Believe me, I tried.  So, of course, the toilet got stopped up and I had to ask the little housekeeping fellow to come fix it.  He came out of the bathroom holding the pit in his hand, with a look of bewilderment on his face, then proceeded to explain to me, as if I were a two year old, how dumb it was to flush an avocado down your toilet.  From then on, whenever he saw me, he'd grin and waggle his head in wonder at the goofy American girl.

Learning enough Indonesian to do the mandatory haggling.

Not long after that, our bed broke.  We weren't even doing anything at the time -- just sitting there, reading, when suddenly it collapsed.  Of course, quite a few people witnessed the bed being carried out of the newlyweds' room in pieces the next day, and a new one being carried in.  Before long, everyone in the compound grinned and waggled their heads when they saw me -- those bachelors most of all. Eventually, I grew weary of yelling "We weren't doing anything!" each time they did it -- especially after I caught John giving them cocky winks behind my back.

The supermarket.

Last but not least was the trip to Kem Chiks.  As John had promised, a company van came to pick the ladies up each Wednesday, to drive us to a little grocery store in Cilegon (pronounced chili-gone).  It was at least an hour's drive, if I remember correctly, over those lovely bumpy, twisty roads, and one time I made the mistake of sitting in the very back seat.  By the time we got there, I wasn't feeling so hot.  I hurried up to the cashier and asked "Where's the bathroom?"  "Mrs. wants to take a bath?", she asked.  "No!  Your restroom!  Where's your restroom?"  "Mrs. needs to rest?"  "No!  Crap, forget it!", and I made a beeline for the door.  I got outside just in time to decorate their shrubs with violet-colored vomit.  Lesson learned: If one is prone towards motion sickness, one should never ride in the very back of a van or bus -- especially if one is drinking a fizzy grape Fanta.  From then on, everyone at Kem Chiks grinned and waggled their heads whenever they saw me.