VOYAGE OF DISCOVERY

Dearest Friends,

Looking back with the advantage of time and wisdom, I have come to realize that starting our marriage the way we did was probably one of the best things that ever happened to us.  With none of his high school or college drinking buddies around; without my sisters or girlfriends wanting my time and attention; without our parents reminding us how "our family" does things; with no one to rely on but each other, well, we were forced to merge into one unit more quickly than those who were being pulled in so many directions at once.

One of many self-made batik outfits.

This was also an important period of self-discovery for me personally, and one startling realization was that the person whose company I enjoyed more than any other was...my own! (which could have had a lot to do with my less than stellar social life in high school)  You see, I had three siblings, and had never had a bedroom to myself, nor shared a bathroom with less than three other women.  I'd worked in fabric stores every weekend and all summer long since the day I turned sixteen, and babysat several times per week, in order to save money for college.  Then, of course, there was all the schoolwork, yearbook staff, choir, chores at home, chores at the co-op where I lived on campus, various jobs on campus...So the one thing I'd never really had was time to myself, to do whatever I wanted, and you know what?  I liked it!  Unfortunately, none of the other wives seemed to feel the same way.

My "mountain" hide out.

One girl in particular, R., who was closest to my own age, and arrived not long before me, just couldn't deal with "alone time."  She was a tomboy who'd grown up in the country with brothers and horses to ride and animals to take care of.  She had no hobbies, and didn't read or sew or do any of the other things I could entertain myself with, so she and her little son K. took to coming over each day just to "hang out."  Well, I am terrible at making idle chit-chat, and would much rather have my nose in a book, so I began to sneak out of the bungalow periodically, before anyone was out and about, to hike up our little mountain and hide out with a good book.  (It wasn't really a mountain - just one huge boulder that was spit out by Krakatoa last time it erupted, and then ended up on our beach.  Scary, no?)

The Anyer Beach hill at night.

Eventually I grew weary of having to hide, so I mustered up enough gumption to say "Hey, I'm in the middle of a sewing project that I'm dying to finish, but you guys are more than welcome to chat with me while I work."  I also started telling her about all the books I was reading, trying to pique her interest.  Before long, she was devouring them as fast as I could pass them along to her, and wondered, if she got her husband to buy her a portable sewing machine next time he was in Singapore, whether I might teach her how to sew?