DEATH, TAXES, AND A NEVERENDING STORY

Dearest Friends,

I guess I've been dragging my feet when it comes to winding up this tale. Perhaps you noticed? It's partially because I have so enjoyed reliving these experiences through your eyes, that I hate for the fun to end, but there's a lot more to it than that. Here's the thing. How do you end the never-ending story?

You may think this story ended as soon as we packed up our belongings and boarded the plane, but that's just not true. These stories came home with us -- became a part of who we are, and who our children grew up to be. They reshaped our beliefs, our ethics, our politics, our philosophy, our world view...broadened our tolerance for some things, but narrowed it for others. They made it impossible for our kids to fit back into their old roles in their old cliques when we moved back to the town where they grew up, but they opened the door to many new friends and new experiences. It affected not only their food preferences and love of travel, but also their learning styles, their creativity, and their open mindedness. In fact, those three year's worth of stories have probably colored most every important decision they have made, and always will.

That being said, we still have to put this baby to bed at some point. So, I thought I would give you  John's last letter home today, share a couple of more stories over the next week, and then I suppose, we will call it a day.

April 13, 1994

Dear Mom & Dad,

This has been a pretty rough week. Saturday morning Mike called and informed me about Nub's cancer. Then shortly after that I got a call that John Tankersley was killed in Qatar in a boating accident. I've know John and worked with him since I came to work with Mobil. He was my counterpart at Mobil's field operations here. They had just moved back to Dallas last year. It had everyone pretty much in a state of shock the whole weekend. Then Alan Silverman's dad died before he could get home Saturday. Plus his secretary's father died this past weekend also. I tell you, it just seems to come in bunches.

I finally received Mike's last letter. He was talking about going to the family reunion and was wanting to hear about our plans. I doubt we will have time this year to attend. If we do, it will have to be a last minute thing. I won't have quite as much time at home as I did last year. I'll be saving a week's worth of vacation in case I need it during the fall.

Report cards for our kids came out this past week. Alexis' teacher seems to be real pleased with the effort she is putting out now. She seems to be focusing a little better on the task at hand. She was doing a great job on her science project until she lost her display posters. Can't find them at school anywhere and she insists she brought them home, but we can't find them around here either. Austin seems to be breezing along. He needs some more kids to give him some competition.

Becky is finally getting close to finishing her quilt. In fact, she has to be done by next weekend. Everyone is going to display their quilts at a fair. She has really done a good job, but I doubt she'll ever do another, particularly when we move home. Putting one of those things together takes a lot of time and she probably won't have much of that back home.

P.T. Arun has just undergone a reorganization and things around here are more confusing than usual. About half of the engineers in my group are going out to another section. Still remains to be seen exactly what I will be doing. Probably pretty much the same thing. It will be a little harder for me to keep in touch with the engineers in a different group, but that's what I will have to do.

Well, guess that's about it for now. Thanks for taking care of my IRS stuff. It's just real iffy trying to mail that kind of thing from here. But from what I saw on CNN, doesn't look like the US mail system is any safer. Give everyone our regards.

Love,
John

HEADED DOWN A SLIPPERY SLOPE

Dearest Friends,

In mid-January John got word that there were a couple of positions in the States that might be a good match for him. Basically, he was putting me on alert. We had no way of knowing if or when either of these would actually materialize, how much notice we would get if one did, or even if we were really ready to leave yet. However, we did know that out of the six kids in Lexie's class, the only two girls (sisters) were definitely headed back to the states, the oldest boy was graduating, and her friend Christopher was probably heading off to boarding school. That would leave her and one other boy. We didn't think that was an environment she could thrive in, and knew we didn't have the guts to send her off to boarding school, so home seemed like the only other option. We decided we'd best be prepared. Once again I set myself the task of paring down our belongings, one room at a time, trying to finish up all my quilting projects so I could pack that stuff away, and taking the ever-dreaded inventory of everything we owned.

As far as school went, there was another teacher appreciation luncheon to plan and host, another play for the younger kids to help with, and scariest of all, The Science Fair. Lex had really blossomed under her fifth grade teacher Mr. Jacoby, who had done wonders for both her confidence and her concentration. She was doing better than we ever thought possible. Still, we couldn't help but be a tad nervous when, in late February, her science teacher (also the school principal) called an assembly for his older science students and their parents. Apparently, this was to be like no other science fair she had ever participated in -- a two month long project, with the first assignment (a typed outline of her problem, problem statement, hypothesis, materials, procedure, variable, control group, time line, dates of completion for each step and data collection sheet) due just four or five days later. Could she stay focused for that many weeks? Only time would tell.

One day our friend Jodi called to tell us that her hubby Steve and our buddy Dan were rigging up a little slip 'n slide thingy for the kids in the field behind their house, and we should bring the kids over to play on it the following Sunday afternoon. It never occurred to us to don our own swimsuits. We should have known that with those two engineers involved, and a bevy of willing volunteers to assist them (every driver and gardener in the neighborhood, I suspect) it would end up being waaaay more than "a little slip 'n slide thingy." Next thing I knew, I was headed down it, fully clothed!

When John's turn came, he made the mistake of grabbing a small donut-shaped tube, and tried to slide down sitting up. Because he was much larger than the kids, he gained momentum fast, and when he hit the mound at the end, instead of slowing him down as intended, it sent him airborne. I can see it all now as if it were a slo-mo replay. John is flying through the air in one direction, the float in another. We have no idea when he will land, where he will land, or how hard the landing will be. A pretty good description, now that I think about it, for our emotional state at the time, and all the questions we had regarding the move home. As it turns out, the answer in both cases was "pretty damn hard!"

A NEW YEAR'S LETTER HOME

4th January, 1994

Greetings Everyone,

Hope you all had a good holiday. As usual, I'm in my "Post-Christmas-Blues" phase -- which always starts at least a week before Christmas. I just can't stand for it all to be over with for another whole year! To cheer myself up, and because I was such a good girl and didn't even go on the ladies Christmas shopping trip this year, I'm taking Alexis out to Singapore just for the fun of it this weekend. We hope to take in a good movie and eat at T.G.I.Friday's. A new Chili's restaurant is supposed to be opening soon, but I don't know when.

Christmas day at the Tates' house.

Things were fairly quiet around here compared to Christmases past, but there was still plenty going on. Only trouble is, instead of having to see the same bunch of people over and over again at every party, you now have to see the same itty-bitty bunch of people over and over again. John and I sometimes stand there watching them, and wonder what on earth they could possibly have to talk about after all this time. (Answer? Each other!) The most fun party of the season, if I do say so myself, was the Bunco/dinner party for 8 couples that John and I threw. Also, another girl and I did a cookie exchange for the older kids, and that was fun too. I would have loved to make your new chocolate trifle recipe Mom, but we can't get Heath bars here, so I had to take my old traditional version to our annual Christmas day get-together with the Reehs and the Tates. The really exciting news this year is that, for once, our driver Yusuf and his family did not come for their usual two hours of just sitting and staring at us on Christmas day! For Christmas Alexis got about 99 different craft projects, including a candle-dipping set, a lap loom, a paper-making kit, etc. Unfortunately, by the end of the first week of vacation she'd done them all, and she was B-O-R-E-D! The second week was somewhat tedious.

We were a little shocked when we discovered that Kathy and Bud had sent 15 videos for the Silverman's son to bring us. I had led him to believe that there would only be a couple. Apart from the fact that he didn't have a lot of luggage space, there is the problem that videos are contraband here and can be confiscated by customs, so you have to hide them. He did manage to sneak in five, though, and we have really savored them. They are also in high demand around the compound. We shared our episodes of Seinfeld with the Silvermans, who are from New York, and they went wild over them. I'm sure they will put pressure on their son to squeeze in a few more tapes when he comes back in March. Can't wait!

Alexis' big excitement is that she may get to have an article published in a magazine! Prisi gave her a subscription to American Girl magazine, and apparently sent in a little information about her as well, when she saw that they were hoping to do an article about American girls who are living abroad. Anyway, this week she got this big, special delivery "urgent" envelope containing a questionnaire for her to fill out, and asking for photos as well. She is so excited! Unfortunately, a lot of other little girls received that same questionnaire, so let's hope her story makes it into the magazine.

The new cook is working out fairly well. I guess. It's great not having to make three meals a day from scratch, day in and day out -- especially when you consider how little I have to work with over here. But, I absolutely hate the fact that she's gradually rearranging my kitchen to suit herself, and now I can't find anything. Also, the kitchen has always been my home base, kinda like my hangout. Now Era keeps the door closed most of the time, to keep the smells in I suppose, and I find myself sort of drifting aimlessly about the house, not sure exactly where to settle!

P.T. Arun took away everyone's company cars as of the first, so we're back to being a one car family. Also, we know that they are pulling a few work permits in March, but the only one that we know of for sure is our next door neighbors, the Lyons. They are none too happy, since he was hoping to hang on another two or three years, until he can retire. Not sure if he will be able to find something else at age 57, or not. It's going to drive us crazy, not knowing what's coming, but there's nothing John can do but wait for his boss to find something in the job postings he gets, that might be suitable for us. In the meantime, we're trying to make plans for our summer home leave, and haven't a clue what to do! Should we travel home and back together, so we can get round-the-world tickets and stop in Denmark to see Eric on the way home, and in Hawaii on the way back, or should we wait and do Denmark and London next Christmas? Will we even be here still next Christmas? Should the kids and I stay all summer, so they can go to camps, etc., and just forget about stopping somewhere with John? But what if it's our last chance to ever see any of these places? The one thing John really wants to do is try and manage a trip up to Colorado to see Patti and Brad, who moved to Cortez when they left here, and maybe go to Creede while there. But should he take his vacation in June, July or August? If any of you have answers to all these questions, please feel free to share, so we can get this show on the road! In the meantime, I'll be right here, fretting. Take care, and write soon.

Oh yeah, Theda -- John really enjoyed the book and cologne you sent him, and the kids were ecstatic about their $40. We gave it to them in Indonesian money, which came to 80,000 rupiah each. They feel like millionaires!

PERTH WITH PALS: THE BEST DAY EVER

Dearest Friends,

I believe I mentioned that there were three families who traveled together to Perth that year. The first day or two, we tried traveling in a pack, but it was a bit problematic. Have you ever tried to choose one restaurant that would please twelve people? Not easy! Especially if there are several picky eaters involved. One day, when we were talking about going to a little theme park we'd heard about, and there was a good chance we might get rained on while there, one family used that as an excuse to split off and go their separate way. Too bad, really. They ended up missing one of the best days ever.

The park may not have had near as much to offer as, say, Disney World, but what they did have was a whole lot of fun. And, thanks to the gloomy weather, we practically had the park to ourselves. No waiting in lines!

I think Austin and Kevin could have ridden this one luge-like slide over and over again, all day long.

Oh wait, come to think of it, they pretty much did!

We never got more than a few brief sprinkles, and the only mishap of the day was when we let the two older kids go ride this little monorail on their own. Somehow they ended up being in separate cars, and if I remember correctly, Lex missed getting out out the right stop. She was a bit unnerved by having to find her way back to us on foot, and mama was a bit unnerved by the fact that Christopher had shown up, but she hadn't! Alas, all's well that ends well. The park was so small, she found her way back to us in no time.

Even the daddies had fun!

PERTH WITH PALS

Is she excited, or what?

Dearest Friends,

Our last year in Indonesia, we decided to use the kids' fall break to join two other families on a trip to Australia. We figured, in all likelihood, we'd never be this close to it again. The kids were ecstatic, not just because we were going to Australia, but because we were going with their best buddies, Chris, Kevin, and Austin H. Austin's little sister Katie would be there as well, but she was only four or five, so she didn't count as far as the big kids were concerned. Besides, she was a girl.

On the recommendation of friends who had been there before, we were able to rent little bungalow-like rooms that could each sleep an entire family, and which had living areas and kitchenettes. Yes, they were a far cry from the Singapore Hyatt, and no, the drapes didn't actually match the bedspreads, which could be disturbing to some, but hey, they were right on the water. Besides, we didn't plan to waste too much time in them!

First order of the day was to rent some boogie boards.

That's where we discovered that all those rumors you hear about the flies in Australia are absolutely true! Second order of the day was to find hats with bobble corks on them.

THE BEGINNING OF THE END

Dearest Friends,

I think Melody, Rich and their two kids were the first of our close friends to transfer out of Sumatra. Fortunately, they only went as far as Jakarta, so it wasn't too bad. We could actually go visit them if we really wanted to. When friend Patti found out that she, Brad, and their three littles would soon be heading to the States, she started to panic over whether she had seen everything she needed to see, and bought everything she needed to buy.

There was a whole lot of stuff you could buy in Jakarta that we never even saw out in the middle of the jungle, so that's exactly what she did -- she went to visit Mel! And, being such a good friend and all, I offered to go along -- just for moral support of course.

If there was anything left in Jakarta when we finished there, it certainly wasn't for lack of trying!

Once Patti and her family departed, it was as if someone had left the stopper out of the drain, for there seemed to be a slow but steady exodus from that point on.

OUR POOR, DEPRIVED KIDS

 Dearest Friends,

In case you are worried that our kids were missing out on too much -- being torn from the wonderful U.S. schools, with all the enrichment and socialization they had to offer, and hauled off to this tiny little school out in the middle of a jungle -- here is just a sampling of what was going on in their lives those first few weeks of fall:

• there was the annual family beach party, where letting your friends bury you was a favorite activity
• Austin had after-school-sports Mon. and Wed., and both had swimming class every Friday
• there was family sports night every Wed. evening
• Lex had craft club on Wed. afternoons, which I taught

• they had an all school skating party, and a trip out to the elephant farm

• Austin had baking club
• they had Cub Scouts and Girl Scouts
• there were school trips to a rice mill and a coffee mill
• Lex had her school trip to Lake Toba, and Austin had his trip to Medan
• there was Batik Week, with its guest artist, a bake sale, and an art show

• we celebrated Austin's eighth birthday, and they both attended friend's parties
• they both hosted and attended numerous sleepovers
• Austin and I made costumes, attended play rehearsals, and practiced lines

Meanwhile, in the background, Mom and Dad had also joined the school carnival committee, Dad was on the school board, and Mom was teaching Sunday School again. And all of this was just in the first quarter -- a mere six weeks or so!

Were they deprived in any way? Not hardly. I think they were just about the luckiest kids in the world!

BOTH THE BEST, AND THE WORST, OF GROWING UP OVERSEAS

Back to School Open House

Dearest Friends,

Know what I love about this picture? Check out the two boys center front. Look at the way little Travis, one of the youngest kids in the school, has his arm draped over older boy Jamie's, as if they were brothers. In a community this small, our kids made friends with everyone, and they soon learned that friends were not a disposable commodity. If you ditched your friends whenever they pissed you off, you'd end up very, very lonely, so they learned how to compromise. They learned that they could have friends of all ages and nationalities, and of both sexes -- kids whose interests and beliefs weren't necessarily the same as theirs, and who wouldn't always agree with them on every little thing. They learned that people could like them just as they were, even if they didn't have the "in" toys and clothes. Heck, they no longer had any way of knowing what was in! They learned that it's actually far better to have a teacher who makes you work hard, but stimulates your imagination, than it is to coast along in utter boredom. They also learned that it was important to balance that hard work with plenty of physical activity and creative opportunities. They thrived on being able to move about the classroom, and interact with the other students, including those in different grades. Most importantly, they learned that the universe was a very, very big place, and they were not the center of it -- that our way of doing things was not the only way, or even necessarily the right way. All this was the best thing about growing up overseas -- and it was the worst thing too, for it was going to make it very, very difficult to go back to the old way of doing things, and all but impossible to go back to the old way of seeing things!

DOSS

Dearest Friends,

The next stop on our Home-Leave-'93-Tour was at Danny and Peggy's place in the Hill Country, not too far from Fredericksburg.  Danny was from a nice litte town called Doss, settled by German immigrants, where he attended a two-room school house until he reached high-school-age, and where all three businesses on the main street bore his family's name.

One day we all decided to drive over to San Antonio for the day, to take the kids to Fiesta Texas.

The thing I remember most about that day was foolishly deciding to go down one of those huge water slides without a mat, and ending up with the worst wedgie of my life. I remember feeling really sad for the poor teenagers who's job it was to help people up and out of the pool at the end of the slide, 'cause they probably had to see an awful lot of wedgies every single day.

LIFE CHANGES: HOME LEAVE '93

Hangin' with the Price kids in Oatmeal

Dearest Friends,

When we first took our kids to live in Sumatra, we knew that the school only went up through 8th grade, and since we didn't plan on sending Lex away to boarding school, we knew we'd be wanting to move home about then.  After spending our entire first summer living out of suitcases, hopping from one house to another, we came up with the brilliant idea of purchasing a little cottage in the Hill Country that could be our vacation home for now, and eventually, our retirement home. Instead of our bouncing around all summer, the friends and relatives could come spend time with us in the Hill Country!  Brilliant, no? So, early on in this year's home-leave-planning, we made sure to include stops in Doss and Oatmeal, to scope things out, and even found Lex a camp to go to in San Marcos, which was near another favorite town, Wimberley.

No, he doesn't have a wandering eye. He's just at that stage where he felt the need to cross them for every photo.

Our first stop was in Ohio, where it was much cooler than we expected. Good thing we had sweaters in our carry-ons! John had a week-long school to attend in Cincinnati, and his brother's family lived not too far away in Middletown, so we got to spend lots of time with them while there.

John's twin brother -- who happens to be several years older than him. I could always look at him and say "OK, this is what my hubby will look like in about 5 years!"

At the end of the week we flew to Dallas, where we had left our Taurus station wagon with my folks. John drove straight out to Odessa the next day, but wanted the kids and I to stay in Dallas a little while longer. The reports we'd been getting regarding his father were so dismal, I think John needed time to adjust to the situation alone. He was probably worried about breaking down in front of the kids, and wanted to have his happy face in place by the time we got there. Not an easy task, since they had given up on trying to rehabilitate George in any way, and he had steadily deteriorated into a mean-spirited, over-sexed, wheel-chair-bound, diaper-wearing toddler -- not uncommon for someone who's had multiple strokes.

We arrived the following weekend, just in time to send Theda, who was in desperate need of a vacation, off to Ohio for a few days, to attend our nieces high school graduation. The kids went to a sports day camp over at the local college each morning during our 3-week stay, we took turns going for physical and dental checkups, and we met up with some of our old friends from Midland (just 20 minutes away) whenever we could. Apparently I didn't take a single photo while we were with George and Theda. I guess it was just too depressing. By the end of our stay there, we needed some serious cheering up, so we headed straight to College Station, to spend time with our dearest friends, Paula and Tim.

They were just what the doctor ordered! From there we headed to the Hill Country. First stop was spending the day with our friends Mark and Ann, who lived in the country near a cute little town called Oatmeal, which is near Bertram, which is near Burnett, which is near Marble Falls...if you keep going, you'll eventually reach a town you've actually heard of.  Anyhoo, when we first came to visit them here as newlyweds, I remember saying "Well, it's a great place to visit, but I don't think I could live there. It's just way too far from a mall or a movie theater!" The more we visited though, over the years, the more my opinion began to shift.

(to be continued)