LIFE IN LIMBO-LAND

Dearest Friends,

From the time we heard about those "possible openings" back in the states, we entered a state of limbo. Not knowing whether we were going on our usual home-leave as soon as school let out, or actually moving home, affected pretty much every thing we did, and rendered us completely helpless when it came to making any plans or decisions. Normally the month of March would have been a flurry of travel-planning and list-making. Instead, we sat there twiddling our thumbs, hoping for word. When we could wait no longer, the kids and I finally booked flights home for early June, not even knowing whether it would be a one-way or round-trip journey.

Lizzy and Lexie, in one of many school skits.

A letter home from John, dated 4/7/94:

Dear Mom & Dad,

Well, I don't know what to think of your Cowboys. Jimmy Jones must really be something else if he can't get along with a coach that took him from last place to two Super Bowls. I think it would be funny if the Cowboys fell on their fannies next year, but they have too much talent to do too badly. Not much is going on around here. We are finally beginning to plan our home leave for this summer. Looks like Becky and the kids will come home the first of June as usual, but I won't come in until July. There is a conference in Venezuela that I want to attend that starts July 17. Right now I'm not sure what my travel plans will be. I may go straight there before coming home, or may go to Dallas for a week, then Venezuela, then to Odessa for 2 weeks. I should know a little more later this month.

Mom, I need one favor from you. I need you to take $1,400 from the credit union and send to to Becky's sister Kathy. They are going to pick up a small computer for Becky to use in the kitchen, if and when we get to come home.

The kids are getting anxious to come home this summer. I think we have found a couple of good camps for them. In fact, we have sent in a deposit for a 2-week camp outside Dallas (YMCA) that they can both attend at the same time. Then there is a Cub Scout day camp in Dallas that is held in the park near Bill and Kay's house. All in all, I think the kids will have fun. Becky doesn't seem to have any special plans for this summer. With Carolyn trying to sell her house, it will make it a little awkward for Becky and the kids to stay there too long. I think Becky would prefer to move around a little bit anyway.

The weather here has been extremely hot lately. Thought for a while we were into another rainy season, then it stopped all of a sudden and got hot. I still say I should plan my home leaves around a trip to the mountains or some place cool. Each year I've come home you've had heat waves there! Well, I will be talking to you this weekend, so I'll go ahead and close. Give everyone our regards. We'll be seeing you soon. The kids can't wait to get their hands on Taz.

Love,
John

Austin and Ryan, on top of the world!

A NEW YEAR'S LETTER HOME

4th January, 1994

Greetings Everyone,

Hope you all had a good holiday. As usual, I'm in my "Post-Christmas-Blues" phase -- which always starts at least a week before Christmas. I just can't stand for it all to be over with for another whole year! To cheer myself up, and because I was such a good girl and didn't even go on the ladies Christmas shopping trip this year, I'm taking Alexis out to Singapore just for the fun of it this weekend. We hope to take in a good movie and eat at T.G.I.Friday's. A new Chili's restaurant is supposed to be opening soon, but I don't know when.

Christmas day at the Tates' house.

Things were fairly quiet around here compared to Christmases past, but there was still plenty going on. Only trouble is, instead of having to see the same bunch of people over and over again at every party, you now have to see the same itty-bitty bunch of people over and over again. John and I sometimes stand there watching them, and wonder what on earth they could possibly have to talk about after all this time. (Answer? Each other!) The most fun party of the season, if I do say so myself, was the Bunco/dinner party for 8 couples that John and I threw. Also, another girl and I did a cookie exchange for the older kids, and that was fun too. I would have loved to make your new chocolate trifle recipe Mom, but we can't get Heath bars here, so I had to take my old traditional version to our annual Christmas day get-together with the Reehs and the Tates. The really exciting news this year is that, for once, our driver Yusuf and his family did not come for their usual two hours of just sitting and staring at us on Christmas day! For Christmas Alexis got about 99 different craft projects, including a candle-dipping set, a lap loom, a paper-making kit, etc. Unfortunately, by the end of the first week of vacation she'd done them all, and she was B-O-R-E-D! The second week was somewhat tedious.

We were a little shocked when we discovered that Kathy and Bud had sent 15 videos for the Silverman's son to bring us. I had led him to believe that there would only be a couple. Apart from the fact that he didn't have a lot of luggage space, there is the problem that videos are contraband here and can be confiscated by customs, so you have to hide them. He did manage to sneak in five, though, and we have really savored them. They are also in high demand around the compound. We shared our episodes of Seinfeld with the Silvermans, who are from New York, and they went wild over them. I'm sure they will put pressure on their son to squeeze in a few more tapes when he comes back in March. Can't wait!

Alexis' big excitement is that she may get to have an article published in a magazine! Prisi gave her a subscription to American Girl magazine, and apparently sent in a little information about her as well, when she saw that they were hoping to do an article about American girls who are living abroad. Anyway, this week she got this big, special delivery "urgent" envelope containing a questionnaire for her to fill out, and asking for photos as well. She is so excited! Unfortunately, a lot of other little girls received that same questionnaire, so let's hope her story makes it into the magazine.

The new cook is working out fairly well. I guess. It's great not having to make three meals a day from scratch, day in and day out -- especially when you consider how little I have to work with over here. But, I absolutely hate the fact that she's gradually rearranging my kitchen to suit herself, and now I can't find anything. Also, the kitchen has always been my home base, kinda like my hangout. Now Era keeps the door closed most of the time, to keep the smells in I suppose, and I find myself sort of drifting aimlessly about the house, not sure exactly where to settle!

P.T. Arun took away everyone's company cars as of the first, so we're back to being a one car family. Also, we know that they are pulling a few work permits in March, but the only one that we know of for sure is our next door neighbors, the Lyons. They are none too happy, since he was hoping to hang on another two or three years, until he can retire. Not sure if he will be able to find something else at age 57, or not. It's going to drive us crazy, not knowing what's coming, but there's nothing John can do but wait for his boss to find something in the job postings he gets, that might be suitable for us. In the meantime, we're trying to make plans for our summer home leave, and haven't a clue what to do! Should we travel home and back together, so we can get round-the-world tickets and stop in Denmark to see Eric on the way home, and in Hawaii on the way back, or should we wait and do Denmark and London next Christmas? Will we even be here still next Christmas? Should the kids and I stay all summer, so they can go to camps, etc., and just forget about stopping somewhere with John? But what if it's our last chance to ever see any of these places? The one thing John really wants to do is try and manage a trip up to Colorado to see Patti and Brad, who moved to Cortez when they left here, and maybe go to Creede while there. But should he take his vacation in June, July or August? If any of you have answers to all these questions, please feel free to share, so we can get this show on the road! In the meantime, I'll be right here, fretting. Take care, and write soon.

Oh yeah, Theda -- John really enjoyed the book and cologne you sent him, and the kids were ecstatic about their $40. We gave it to them in Indonesian money, which came to 80,000 rupiah each. They feel like millionaires!

A DINO-RIFIC WELCOME HOME

Image from blol.me

Dearest Friends,

Have you ever heard of the book Dinotopia? Someone gifted my kids with a copy (Aunt Poo?) while we lived in Indonesia. Not only was it a great story, it had some of the most gorgeous illustrations I have ever seen! The kids spent hours pouring over it, and making drawings inspired by it.

Well, my hubby, as you know, is a great lover of gifting and surprising. Completely unbeknownst to us, he had contacted the fellow who painted all of our yard decorations, and the backdrops for the Halloween carnivals, as soon as he got back to Indonesia. He showed him the book, and as a result, each kid had something like this waiting for them, upon their return:

Dad really knocked their socks off that time -- and mine too! Too bad I can't find a picture of the one that was painted on Austin's wall -- a different scene, but just as awesome -- and ever so sad that they probably both got painted over, when we had to leave such a short time later.

ONE LAST FLING

Dearest Friends,

By the time we left Doss, John was running out of vacation. We headed back to Dallas so he could regroup before heading out on one last little adventure -- a father-daughter road trip! He was sooooo looking forward to spending some one-on-one time with Alexis, something he hadn't had much opportunity for since their Indian Princess campouts together when she was five or six. His primary goal was to deliver her to the aquatics camp she was to attend at Texas State University in San Marcos, but he figured it wouldn't hurt to swing by UT first, maybe do a little brain-washing while he had the chance. (Alas, that plan backfired big time -- she ended up choosing Texas State over UT!)

Lexie's roommate Lizzy, a friend from Indonesia

Once he was back in Dallas, he barely had time to pack his bags before having to return to Indonesia. I think he sort of dreaded going back alone, for there would be no furry friend there to greet him this time. While we were in Odessa we had got a phone call from our next door neighbor Judy in Indonesia. Apparently our housekeeper Asnah had come to her in a panic when she noticed there was something wrong with our beloved dog Munchkin, but she wanted us to know that she had called in the vet, and they were doing everything they could.

A few days later she had the onerous task of informing us that Munchkin had passed on. I have never been so torn. On one hand, I felt devastated over not being there to comfort Munchie in her final days. On the other, I felt guilty relief over not having to see her suffer. It had certainly been a summer for facing hard truths. Not only had we lost our beloved pet of almost fifteen years -- our first child, really -- we also had to face up to the fact that John's father was never going to get better, and his mother was teetering on the edge. Then we had to face up to the dwindling size of the school on our compound, and that by the end of the coming school year, there'd be almost no one left in Lexie's age group. Could we send her to boarding school? I don't think so. All of this meant, of course, that we needed to return to the States much sooner than planned, and there would be no point to, and no money for, buying a vacation home in the Hill Country just yet. Once the seed was planted, though, it never died. The following week, when my sister Carolyn and I returned to fetch Alexis, we took our time. We traveled the backroads, checking out little towns like Boerne and Comfort. Just in case. Some day.

Sister Carolyn in our room at the Crystal River Inn, in San Marcos

DOSS

Dearest Friends,

The next stop on our Home-Leave-'93-Tour was at Danny and Peggy's place in the Hill Country, not too far from Fredericksburg.  Danny was from a nice litte town called Doss, settled by German immigrants, where he attended a two-room school house until he reached high-school-age, and where all three businesses on the main street bore his family's name.

One day we all decided to drive over to San Antonio for the day, to take the kids to Fiesta Texas.

The thing I remember most about that day was foolishly deciding to go down one of those huge water slides without a mat, and ending up with the worst wedgie of my life. I remember feeling really sad for the poor teenagers who's job it was to help people up and out of the pool at the end of the slide, 'cause they probably had to see an awful lot of wedgies every single day.

LIFE CHANGES: HOME LEAVE '93

Hangin' with the Price kids in Oatmeal

Dearest Friends,

When we first took our kids to live in Sumatra, we knew that the school only went up through 8th grade, and since we didn't plan on sending Lex away to boarding school, we knew we'd be wanting to move home about then.  After spending our entire first summer living out of suitcases, hopping from one house to another, we came up with the brilliant idea of purchasing a little cottage in the Hill Country that could be our vacation home for now, and eventually, our retirement home. Instead of our bouncing around all summer, the friends and relatives could come spend time with us in the Hill Country!  Brilliant, no? So, early on in this year's home-leave-planning, we made sure to include stops in Doss and Oatmeal, to scope things out, and even found Lex a camp to go to in San Marcos, which was near another favorite town, Wimberley.

No, he doesn't have a wandering eye. He's just at that stage where he felt the need to cross them for every photo.

Our first stop was in Ohio, where it was much cooler than we expected. Good thing we had sweaters in our carry-ons! John had a week-long school to attend in Cincinnati, and his brother's family lived not too far away in Middletown, so we got to spend lots of time with them while there.

John's twin brother -- who happens to be several years older than him. I could always look at him and say "OK, this is what my hubby will look like in about 5 years!"

At the end of the week we flew to Dallas, where we had left our Taurus station wagon with my folks. John drove straight out to Odessa the next day, but wanted the kids and I to stay in Dallas a little while longer. The reports we'd been getting regarding his father were so dismal, I think John needed time to adjust to the situation alone. He was probably worried about breaking down in front of the kids, and wanted to have his happy face in place by the time we got there. Not an easy task, since they had given up on trying to rehabilitate George in any way, and he had steadily deteriorated into a mean-spirited, over-sexed, wheel-chair-bound, diaper-wearing toddler -- not uncommon for someone who's had multiple strokes.

We arrived the following weekend, just in time to send Theda, who was in desperate need of a vacation, off to Ohio for a few days, to attend our nieces high school graduation. The kids went to a sports day camp over at the local college each morning during our 3-week stay, we took turns going for physical and dental checkups, and we met up with some of our old friends from Midland (just 20 minutes away) whenever we could. Apparently I didn't take a single photo while we were with George and Theda. I guess it was just too depressing. By the end of our stay there, we needed some serious cheering up, so we headed straight to College Station, to spend time with our dearest friends, Paula and Tim.

They were just what the doctor ordered! From there we headed to the Hill Country. First stop was spending the day with our friends Mark and Ann, who lived in the country near a cute little town called Oatmeal, which is near Bertram, which is near Burnett, which is near Marble Falls...if you keep going, you'll eventually reach a town you've actually heard of.  Anyhoo, when we first came to visit them here as newlyweds, I remember saying "Well, it's a great place to visit, but I don't think I could live there. It's just way too far from a mall or a movie theater!" The more we visited though, over the years, the more my opinion began to shift.

(to be continued)

MAY MAYHEM

Dearest Friends,

Anyone who refers to the "merry" month of May has never been an expatriate mom. Those of us who have know that it is anything but. It was not merry, it was mayhem, bedlam, and I doubt if my hubby has any clue how close I came to edge a few times -- especially when we'd get everything worked out, only to have him come home and announce a change in plans. Here is just a sampling of what I found written in my agenda for the last few weeks of the school year in '93:

• hosted/attended at least 16 lunch, dinner, and cocktail functions, over and above the usual weekly things like Shanghai group and Girl Scout meetings
• planned and carried out the infamous Girl Scout campout
• prepared for and taught the littles in Sunday School each week
• stressed out over the care of my sons eczema, which had flared into some icky infection
• went to choir rehearsals and performed on Mother's Day
• made hotel reservations for the stops on our trip home, confirmed flights, and updated friends and family on our plans
• held a scout leaders meeting to make our plans for the following year, and to figure out what supplies needed to be purchased in the States while we were there
• prepared and sent out invitations for a special murder mystery party I was planning to host the following fall, since guests might want to gather "parts" for their costumes while home
• held a teacher appreciation luncheon
• withdrew enough money to pay our staff salaries while we were away, and took it to my next door neighbor, along with instructions
• met with the school principal to tie up loose ends, since we needed to take the kids out of school a few days early in order for John to attend a school in Cincinnatti
• bought last minute hostess gifts for all the people we would be staying with over the summer, including Marie Biscuits and cans of the coffee-flavored candy that everyone loved
• made shopping lists of everything we might possibly need in the coming year, that we couldn't get in Sumatra
• tried to figure out what to pack for a family of four, three of whom would be away all summer, and two of whom would be going off to camps and such, so that we would have everything we might need, but still have plenty of room left in which to bring back all that stuff on the above shopping lists
• left instructions for our staff, and prayed that they would take good care of our puppy dog
• Oh yeah! There was another play to help out with too!

I don't really recall what the play was about. All I know is the kids wrote the script themselves, and somehow managed to include wizards...

Kitty Kats...

Vampires...

and the cutest big red ant ever!

YOU KNOW YOU'RE BEGINNING TO ADJUST WHEN...

7th April, 1993

Dear Friends and Family,

Sorry it's been so long since my last letter, but I was just way too busy having fun, with visiting sister Kathy, to stop and sit at the computer! We really had a blast, but I guess you could say her agenda ranged from the sublime to the ridiculous. We started off by picking her up in Singapore and going straight to Penang. We stayed at the same place we went to last year -- the one with all sorts of organized activities for the kids, the great rock slide into the pool, massages on the beach, little flags to raise when you wanted another drink, etc. (you get the picture!) Then we took her to Lake Toba back in Sumatra. Carolyn is the only one who can fully appreciate what you have to go through to get there, for she has now "experienced" travel in Indonesia!

Sister Kathy, a.k.a. Gus

First we had a one hour flight back to Medan -- not too bad, although you might not recognize any of the foods they serve on board. The Medan airport itself is the real adventure. No air-conditioning, lots of clove-scented smoke, millions of little porters in yellow jumpsuits who scramble for your bags, whether you want them to or not, and then head off in ten different directions, etc. Then there are the mobs of people, none of whom believe in queuing up for anything! Assertiveness goes first so, of course, we are always last.

We were met there by a very nice driver with a van who, unfortunately, spoke not one word of English.  (sad to say, our Indonesian isn't so hot either) He took us to lunch at Pizza Hut, and to the grocery store to stock up on "survival food." Then we embarked on the four hour trip up to Lake Toba, and this is where words fail me. All I can say is, thank heaven I had on my motion sickness patch, and was able to sit in back with my eyes closed the entire trip. I thought I had developed nerves of steel with regards to the local driving habits, but this was a true test! It was worth it though (easier to say, now that I've come out alive) for the lake truly is amazing. The island in the middle of it is larger than Singapore (so imagine the size of the lake itself!) and was originally the home of the Batak tribe, who were cannibals (we got to see some of their ancient stone tables, chairs and execution blocks) and they managed to withstand the influence of the Moslems by isolating themselves on the island and eating any strangers who ventured in. At least one intrepid missionary must have managed to infiltrate the island without being eaten, for now they are all Christians. They really love music and singing, and you see "Batak Singers" listed as entertainment at clubs all over Asia.  We stayed in some really neat cottages that resembled Batak houses, with roofs that are pointed on each end -- no A.C., but you don't really need it since it's nice and cool up in the mountains. Oh yeah, did I mention that this lake was formed in an ancient volcano crater?

After spending a few days here, we had to do the whole tedious trip in reverse. Unfortunately, I had used up my last patch, so I was green most of the trip. We were convinced of our driver's excellence when he managed to find us a little minit mart type place to stop at on the way home that actually had a clean bathroom. No, the toilet was not western style, but at that point, we really didn't care. Hey! That reminds me! A friend in Jakarta found this in her book on culture shock:

You know you are beginning to adjust to Indonesia when...

• you spend the night on the toilet, and don't bother mentioning it the next morning
• you sleep through the 4:30 A.M. call to prayer from the mosque's loudspeaker
• you don't flinch when faced with squatting over an Asian-style toilet
• you are positive cars in American movies are driving on the wrong side of the road
• you go on home leave, and try to bargain in the department store

I guess you could say we are very well-adjusted now!

Poor Kathy thought she was going to end her vacation by spending the week here at our house being waited on by our staff, lounging around the pool, and having facials and manicures at the salon. Unfortunately, she arrived right at the end of Ramadan (I swear I didn't know this when Bud bought her ticket last summer), which meant the help was on vacation the whole week, and the salon was closed. She's convinced I planned it that way so that I would have her help doing all those dishes by hand, and having to hang laundry out on the clothesline, since the dryer quit working the day she arrived! We still managed to have lots of fun and sun, then had a great couple of days in Singapore (hey Gus, remember eating Boober Cha Cha for tea at the Raffles, and almost wetting our pants, we got to giggling so hard?) before she had to head home. All in all, this has been a fantastic year for me, but next year will be rough. We are fairly certain we won't be having any more visitors from home, and the longer we are here, the more homesick we get. Also, the older Alexis gets, the harder it will be on her at school, since there will be less and less kids near her age.

Tonight is the dress rehearsal for John's play. He's done nothing but moan and groan about it from day one, so I was really shocked when I finally saw a rehearsal and discovered that he was great! The director says he is the most improved of all the cast members. His only problem is that he has trouble keeping a straight face when he says something funny, but I think the audience will love it all the more if he actually loses it during a performance! He swears he will never do this again, but maybe it will be like having babies, and he will forget about the agony after a while.

Not much else to tell, except to update you on our plans for the summer. Looks like we will be arriving in Cincinnati around 6:00am Sat., May 22, then in Dallas Sat., May 29, around 10:00 am. John will probably drive on out to Odessa the next day, but the kids and I will wait and fly out a week later. Luckily, we will be there to keep George company so that Theda can fly up to see Megan graduate from high school June 10th. Around June 28th we plan to head for the hills! (Texas Hill Country, that is) We hope to stop in and see the Reeh's ranch in Doss, meet up with the Sanfords in Fredericksburg, maybe take in Fiesta Texas in San Antonio, and finally end up by dropping Alexis off at camp in San Marcos on July 4th. We've discovered what appears to be a great one at Southwest Texas State University's Edwards Aquifer Research and Data Center. It's called Aquatic Studies Summer Camp, and they combine learning about pond, river and aquifer life with doing fun things every afternoon like tubing, rafting, and going to Schlitterbahn, Aquarena Springs, Seaworld and Natural Bridge Caverns. She's really excited, and it looks like her friends Lizzie and Jennifer Newsome will be going too (same one she went to Scout camp with last year).

Anyway, as soon as we drop her off we will head up to Dallas, since John has to fly out late on July 8th. Then I will have to turn around and go back to get Alexis the next weekend. Anyone care to go along for the ride?  It looks like July 16th will be the best weekend for our family trip to New Orleans, to celebrate Mom and Dad's 50th anniversary. May 1st is the actual day, but they are sneaking away on a cruise by themselves, and waiting until we get home this summer for the family celebration.

That covers just about everything, except for a 3 or 4 week orgy of malls, movies and restaurants, before the kids and I head back home around August 11th. Y'all take care, and let me know if anyone hears of any great activities for Mr. Austin to participate in this summer. We can't wait to see you all, and are counting the days until we head in that direction -- 43 to be exact!

P.S. I've got lots of pictures I'll be posting over the next few days. In fact, we took so many on these trips that I will have to sort through them first, and just pick out the best of the best!

LETTERS HOME: THE FINAL COUNTDOWN TO KATHY

Thursday, 4th March, 1993

Hi Gang,

Well, we are all counting the days, if not minutes, until next Friday when Spring Break begins, and we leave for Singapore to go get Kathy. Things seem to have gotten really hectic around here lately, and everyone is ready for a break. John is caught up in play rehearsals and school board meetings, and I've been busy with the scouts and with trying to get costumes for the play squared away before everyone leaves on holiday. We thought John would have one of the easiest costumes because the script just called for him to wear a trenchcoat, but then Julie saw an old Dracula movie where they were all dressed in period costumes. Now we are having to come up with a three piece suit with a long, Wyatt-Earp-style jacket, in green. It's worth it, I suppose, just to have this opportunity to see him on a stage. Can't wait!

The kids seem to be inundated with after-school activities right now. Alexis has mandatory sports activities after school two days a week (right now it's bicycling) and they have family sports night once a week, where she is playing water polo. Also, she has scouts and computer club every week. Austin has Cub Scouts, Newcomb (like volleyball) and soccer, which is great fun, but probably not any kind of preparation for what kids in the states are doing, since we have to clump everyone from 3 yrs. on up together. On top of all this, we found out that there is a tennis instructor available for free, so the kids both wanted to go to tennis lessons each Friday. I hope Austin keeps his interest up in that, because that is something he could play anywhere we moved. He may not always hit the ball, but when he does, he whacks the living daylights out of it! Now if only the kids had a little free time. I think maybe the school has gone a bit overboard, for fear the kids don't have enough to do here. The good news is that I trade off with Peggy Reeh each month, as Sunday School teacher for the 4 and 5 years olds, and I just started my month off. YABBA-DABBA-DOO!!!

In addition to just being too busy, this is also the "BAD" time of year. The closer you get to Home Leave, the more frayed everyone's nerves get. I thought this wasn't supposed to happen until late April, but there are several feuds going on already (no, none involving me!). The kids are all really sad because the Freels family is leaving. Their two daughters are Alexis' best friends and make up half of her class and half of my scout troop, and their son is one of Austin's buddies. Also, one other family and one bachelor have left this month, so we're all breaking our necks trying to do farewell parties, etc. So far there is no news of any replacement families coming, and that makes us all nervous as well, since the school seems to be dwindling away before our eyes!

Of course, add to all this the fact that it's Ramadan, and you will understand why everyone feels a bit frazzled. This is the month when all the Moslems must fast from sunup until sundown -- not even a sip of water is allowed. (It makes them more empathetic to the poor and starving, which is why, unlike we Americans, they always have pockets full of change --year round, not just at Ramadan -- and would never even think about ignoring someone with their hand out!) They stay up most of the night eating and visiting, so they are absolutely exhausted during the day. Also, the loudspeakers on the mosques go off around 3:30 each morning, to remind them that it's their last chance to eat before sunrise, so there are a few tired expats as well. I don't like to eat or drink in front of our help while they are fasting, so I have to hide in the bathroom if I want a soda or something! Needless to say, we can hardly wait for Kathy to arrive and to head out for Penang.

Guess that's about all for now. Take care, and we will see you all before you know it!