YOU KNOW YOU'RE BEGINNING TO ADJUST WHEN...

7th April, 1993

Dear Friends and Family,

Sorry it's been so long since my last letter, but I was just way too busy having fun, with visiting sister Kathy, to stop and sit at the computer! We really had a blast, but I guess you could say her agenda ranged from the sublime to the ridiculous. We started off by picking her up in Singapore and going straight to Penang. We stayed at the same place we went to last year -- the one with all sorts of organized activities for the kids, the great rock slide into the pool, massages on the beach, little flags to raise when you wanted another drink, etc. (you get the picture!) Then we took her to Lake Toba back in Sumatra. Carolyn is the only one who can fully appreciate what you have to go through to get there, for she has now "experienced" travel in Indonesia!

Sister Kathy, a.k.a. Gus

First we had a one hour flight back to Medan -- not too bad, although you might not recognize any of the foods they serve on board. The Medan airport itself is the real adventure. No air-conditioning, lots of clove-scented smoke, millions of little porters in yellow jumpsuits who scramble for your bags, whether you want them to or not, and then head off in ten different directions, etc. Then there are the mobs of people, none of whom believe in queuing up for anything! Assertiveness goes first so, of course, we are always last.

We were met there by a very nice driver with a van who, unfortunately, spoke not one word of English.  (sad to say, our Indonesian isn't so hot either) He took us to lunch at Pizza Hut, and to the grocery store to stock up on "survival food." Then we embarked on the four hour trip up to Lake Toba, and this is where words fail me. All I can say is, thank heaven I had on my motion sickness patch, and was able to sit in back with my eyes closed the entire trip. I thought I had developed nerves of steel with regards to the local driving habits, but this was a true test! It was worth it though (easier to say, now that I've come out alive) for the lake truly is amazing. The island in the middle of it is larger than Singapore (so imagine the size of the lake itself!) and was originally the home of the Batak tribe, who were cannibals (we got to see some of their ancient stone tables, chairs and execution blocks) and they managed to withstand the influence of the Moslems by isolating themselves on the island and eating any strangers who ventured in. At least one intrepid missionary must have managed to infiltrate the island without being eaten, for now they are all Christians. They really love music and singing, and you see "Batak Singers" listed as entertainment at clubs all over Asia.  We stayed in some really neat cottages that resembled Batak houses, with roofs that are pointed on each end -- no A.C., but you don't really need it since it's nice and cool up in the mountains. Oh yeah, did I mention that this lake was formed in an ancient volcano crater?

After spending a few days here, we had to do the whole tedious trip in reverse. Unfortunately, I had used up my last patch, so I was green most of the trip. We were convinced of our driver's excellence when he managed to find us a little minit mart type place to stop at on the way home that actually had a clean bathroom. No, the toilet was not western style, but at that point, we really didn't care. Hey! That reminds me! A friend in Jakarta found this in her book on culture shock:

You know you are beginning to adjust to Indonesia when...

• you spend the night on the toilet, and don't bother mentioning it the next morning
• you sleep through the 4:30 A.M. call to prayer from the mosque's loudspeaker
• you don't flinch when faced with squatting over an Asian-style toilet
• you are positive cars in American movies are driving on the wrong side of the road
• you go on home leave, and try to bargain in the department store

I guess you could say we are very well-adjusted now!

Poor Kathy thought she was going to end her vacation by spending the week here at our house being waited on by our staff, lounging around the pool, and having facials and manicures at the salon. Unfortunately, she arrived right at the end of Ramadan (I swear I didn't know this when Bud bought her ticket last summer), which meant the help was on vacation the whole week, and the salon was closed. She's convinced I planned it that way so that I would have her help doing all those dishes by hand, and having to hang laundry out on the clothesline, since the dryer quit working the day she arrived! We still managed to have lots of fun and sun, then had a great couple of days in Singapore (hey Gus, remember eating Boober Cha Cha for tea at the Raffles, and almost wetting our pants, we got to giggling so hard?) before she had to head home. All in all, this has been a fantastic year for me, but next year will be rough. We are fairly certain we won't be having any more visitors from home, and the longer we are here, the more homesick we get. Also, the older Alexis gets, the harder it will be on her at school, since there will be less and less kids near her age.

Tonight is the dress rehearsal for John's play. He's done nothing but moan and groan about it from day one, so I was really shocked when I finally saw a rehearsal and discovered that he was great! The director says he is the most improved of all the cast members. His only problem is that he has trouble keeping a straight face when he says something funny, but I think the audience will love it all the more if he actually loses it during a performance! He swears he will never do this again, but maybe it will be like having babies, and he will forget about the agony after a while.

Not much else to tell, except to update you on our plans for the summer. Looks like we will be arriving in Cincinnati around 6:00am Sat., May 22, then in Dallas Sat., May 29, around 10:00 am. John will probably drive on out to Odessa the next day, but the kids and I will wait and fly out a week later. Luckily, we will be there to keep George company so that Theda can fly up to see Megan graduate from high school June 10th. Around June 28th we plan to head for the hills! (Texas Hill Country, that is) We hope to stop in and see the Reeh's ranch in Doss, meet up with the Sanfords in Fredericksburg, maybe take in Fiesta Texas in San Antonio, and finally end up by dropping Alexis off at camp in San Marcos on July 4th. We've discovered what appears to be a great one at Southwest Texas State University's Edwards Aquifer Research and Data Center. It's called Aquatic Studies Summer Camp, and they combine learning about pond, river and aquifer life with doing fun things every afternoon like tubing, rafting, and going to Schlitterbahn, Aquarena Springs, Seaworld and Natural Bridge Caverns. She's really excited, and it looks like her friends Lizzie and Jennifer Newsome will be going too (same one she went to Scout camp with last year).

Anyway, as soon as we drop her off we will head up to Dallas, since John has to fly out late on July 8th. Then I will have to turn around and go back to get Alexis the next weekend. Anyone care to go along for the ride?  It looks like July 16th will be the best weekend for our family trip to New Orleans, to celebrate Mom and Dad's 50th anniversary. May 1st is the actual day, but they are sneaking away on a cruise by themselves, and waiting until we get home this summer for the family celebration.

That covers just about everything, except for a 3 or 4 week orgy of malls, movies and restaurants, before the kids and I head back home around August 11th. Y'all take care, and let me know if anyone hears of any great activities for Mr. Austin to participate in this summer. We can't wait to see you all, and are counting the days until we head in that direction -- 43 to be exact!

P.S. I've got lots of pictures I'll be posting over the next few days. In fact, we took so many on these trips that I will have to sort through them first, and just pick out the best of the best!

LETTERS HOME: THE FINAL COUNTDOWN TO KATHY

Thursday, 4th March, 1993

Hi Gang,

Well, we are all counting the days, if not minutes, until next Friday when Spring Break begins, and we leave for Singapore to go get Kathy. Things seem to have gotten really hectic around here lately, and everyone is ready for a break. John is caught up in play rehearsals and school board meetings, and I've been busy with the scouts and with trying to get costumes for the play squared away before everyone leaves on holiday. We thought John would have one of the easiest costumes because the script just called for him to wear a trenchcoat, but then Julie saw an old Dracula movie where they were all dressed in period costumes. Now we are having to come up with a three piece suit with a long, Wyatt-Earp-style jacket, in green. It's worth it, I suppose, just to have this opportunity to see him on a stage. Can't wait!

The kids seem to be inundated with after-school activities right now. Alexis has mandatory sports activities after school two days a week (right now it's bicycling) and they have family sports night once a week, where she is playing water polo. Also, she has scouts and computer club every week. Austin has Cub Scouts, Newcomb (like volleyball) and soccer, which is great fun, but probably not any kind of preparation for what kids in the states are doing, since we have to clump everyone from 3 yrs. on up together. On top of all this, we found out that there is a tennis instructor available for free, so the kids both wanted to go to tennis lessons each Friday. I hope Austin keeps his interest up in that, because that is something he could play anywhere we moved. He may not always hit the ball, but when he does, he whacks the living daylights out of it! Now if only the kids had a little free time. I think maybe the school has gone a bit overboard, for fear the kids don't have enough to do here. The good news is that I trade off with Peggy Reeh each month, as Sunday School teacher for the 4 and 5 years olds, and I just started my month off. YABBA-DABBA-DOO!!!

In addition to just being too busy, this is also the "BAD" time of year. The closer you get to Home Leave, the more frayed everyone's nerves get. I thought this wasn't supposed to happen until late April, but there are several feuds going on already (no, none involving me!). The kids are all really sad because the Freels family is leaving. Their two daughters are Alexis' best friends and make up half of her class and half of my scout troop, and their son is one of Austin's buddies. Also, one other family and one bachelor have left this month, so we're all breaking our necks trying to do farewell parties, etc. So far there is no news of any replacement families coming, and that makes us all nervous as well, since the school seems to be dwindling away before our eyes!

Of course, add to all this the fact that it's Ramadan, and you will understand why everyone feels a bit frazzled. This is the month when all the Moslems must fast from sunup until sundown -- not even a sip of water is allowed. (It makes them more empathetic to the poor and starving, which is why, unlike we Americans, they always have pockets full of change --year round, not just at Ramadan -- and would never even think about ignoring someone with their hand out!) They stay up most of the night eating and visiting, so they are absolutely exhausted during the day. Also, the loudspeakers on the mosques go off around 3:30 each morning, to remind them that it's their last chance to eat before sunrise, so there are a few tired expats as well. I don't like to eat or drink in front of our help while they are fasting, so I have to hide in the bathroom if I want a soda or something! Needless to say, we can hardly wait for Kathy to arrive and to head out for Penang.

Guess that's about all for now. Take care, and we will see you all before you know it!

RISKING LIFE AND LIMB

Dearest Friends,

In John's letter home, he mentioned our visit to a tiny Christian church in the town of Lhok Seumawe.  Visiting that little church was an annual event for a handful of expat families, and though I wouldn't call it our favorite Christmas activity, it was certainly one of the most meaningful.

The first time we were invited, my kids were pretty excited about it.  They'd practiced some songs they were to perform, and had been told it would include dinner, plus a gift for every kid there.  Of course, it wasn't quite what they had pictured.  We climbed aboard a little bus and made the hour's trip into town, arriving right at dusk.  The church was very small and rustic, with folding chairs rather than pews.  I'm sure the building served some other purpose during the week.  Under each seat we found a cold boxed dinner containing some local treats.  I'm guessing my picky daughter probably just rolled her eyes and stuffed it back under her chair, possibly grabbing a piece of bread, if there was one.

Once we had finished our meal it was time for the musical entertainment -- a few carols from our kids, a few from theirs, and a few we all sang together.  There was a lengthy sermon, difficult to follow even with the translator provided, and then there were the promised gifts -- a few small trinkets, rather than the shiny new toys my kids probably envisioned.  At last we climbed back onto our bus for the ride home.  The kids were probably asleep before we made it out of the parking lot, and were still rather bleary-eyed when they left for school the next morning.

So why did we drag our less-than-enthusiastic kids back for more of the same the following two years? Well, because sometimes it's good to be reminded that not all people have it as easy as we always have  -- especially where religion is concerned.  Some, like these families, like Jewish people throughout history, and like Moslems in America after 9/11, risk life and limb just to practice their particular faith amongst those who are rabidly opposed.  Though this small band of Christians was being tolerated at the time, they all knew that things could change in the blink of an eye, as it had in the past, with disastrous results.  Perhaps I was hoping that a little of their faith and certainty would rub off on me.