DEATH, TAXES, AND A NEVERENDING STORY

Dearest Friends,

I guess I've been dragging my feet when it comes to winding up this tale. Perhaps you noticed? It's partially because I have so enjoyed reliving these experiences through your eyes, that I hate for the fun to end, but there's a lot more to it than that. Here's the thing. How do you end the never-ending story?

You may think this story ended as soon as we packed up our belongings and boarded the plane, but that's just not true. These stories came home with us -- became a part of who we are, and who our children grew up to be. They reshaped our beliefs, our ethics, our politics, our philosophy, our world view...broadened our tolerance for some things, but narrowed it for others. They made it impossible for our kids to fit back into their old roles in their old cliques when we moved back to the town where they grew up, but they opened the door to many new friends and new experiences. It affected not only their food preferences and love of travel, but also their learning styles, their creativity, and their open mindedness. In fact, those three year's worth of stories have probably colored most every important decision they have made, and always will.

That being said, we still have to put this baby to bed at some point. So, I thought I would give you  John's last letter home today, share a couple of more stories over the next week, and then I suppose, we will call it a day.

April 13, 1994

Dear Mom & Dad,

This has been a pretty rough week. Saturday morning Mike called and informed me about Nub's cancer. Then shortly after that I got a call that John Tankersley was killed in Qatar in a boating accident. I've know John and worked with him since I came to work with Mobil. He was my counterpart at Mobil's field operations here. They had just moved back to Dallas last year. It had everyone pretty much in a state of shock the whole weekend. Then Alan Silverman's dad died before he could get home Saturday. Plus his secretary's father died this past weekend also. I tell you, it just seems to come in bunches.

I finally received Mike's last letter. He was talking about going to the family reunion and was wanting to hear about our plans. I doubt we will have time this year to attend. If we do, it will have to be a last minute thing. I won't have quite as much time at home as I did last year. I'll be saving a week's worth of vacation in case I need it during the fall.

Report cards for our kids came out this past week. Alexis' teacher seems to be real pleased with the effort she is putting out now. She seems to be focusing a little better on the task at hand. She was doing a great job on her science project until she lost her display posters. Can't find them at school anywhere and she insists she brought them home, but we can't find them around here either. Austin seems to be breezing along. He needs some more kids to give him some competition.

Becky is finally getting close to finishing her quilt. In fact, she has to be done by next weekend. Everyone is going to display their quilts at a fair. She has really done a good job, but I doubt she'll ever do another, particularly when we move home. Putting one of those things together takes a lot of time and she probably won't have much of that back home.

P.T. Arun has just undergone a reorganization and things around here are more confusing than usual. About half of the engineers in my group are going out to another section. Still remains to be seen exactly what I will be doing. Probably pretty much the same thing. It will be a little harder for me to keep in touch with the engineers in a different group, but that's what I will have to do.

Well, guess that's about it for now. Thanks for taking care of my IRS stuff. It's just real iffy trying to mail that kind of thing from here. But from what I saw on CNN, doesn't look like the US mail system is any safer. Give everyone our regards.

Love,
John

LIFE IN LIMBO-LAND

Dearest Friends,

From the time we heard about those "possible openings" back in the states, we entered a state of limbo. Not knowing whether we were going on our usual home-leave as soon as school let out, or actually moving home, affected pretty much every thing we did, and rendered us completely helpless when it came to making any plans or decisions. Normally the month of March would have been a flurry of travel-planning and list-making. Instead, we sat there twiddling our thumbs, hoping for word. When we could wait no longer, the kids and I finally booked flights home for early June, not even knowing whether it would be a one-way or round-trip journey.

Lizzy and Lexie, in one of many school skits.

A letter home from John, dated 4/7/94:

Dear Mom & Dad,

Well, I don't know what to think of your Cowboys. Jimmy Jones must really be something else if he can't get along with a coach that took him from last place to two Super Bowls. I think it would be funny if the Cowboys fell on their fannies next year, but they have too much talent to do too badly. Not much is going on around here. We are finally beginning to plan our home leave for this summer. Looks like Becky and the kids will come home the first of June as usual, but I won't come in until July. There is a conference in Venezuela that I want to attend that starts July 17. Right now I'm not sure what my travel plans will be. I may go straight there before coming home, or may go to Dallas for a week, then Venezuela, then to Odessa for 2 weeks. I should know a little more later this month.

Mom, I need one favor from you. I need you to take $1,400 from the credit union and send to to Becky's sister Kathy. They are going to pick up a small computer for Becky to use in the kitchen, if and when we get to come home.

The kids are getting anxious to come home this summer. I think we have found a couple of good camps for them. In fact, we have sent in a deposit for a 2-week camp outside Dallas (YMCA) that they can both attend at the same time. Then there is a Cub Scout day camp in Dallas that is held in the park near Bill and Kay's house. All in all, I think the kids will have fun. Becky doesn't seem to have any special plans for this summer. With Carolyn trying to sell her house, it will make it a little awkward for Becky and the kids to stay there too long. I think Becky would prefer to move around a little bit anyway.

The weather here has been extremely hot lately. Thought for a while we were into another rainy season, then it stopped all of a sudden and got hot. I still say I should plan my home leaves around a trip to the mountains or some place cool. Each year I've come home you've had heat waves there! Well, I will be talking to you this weekend, so I'll go ahead and close. Give everyone our regards. We'll be seeing you soon. The kids can't wait to get their hands on Taz.

Love,
John

Austin and Ryan, on top of the world!

HEADED DOWN A SLIPPERY SLOPE

Dearest Friends,

In mid-January John got word that there were a couple of positions in the States that might be a good match for him. Basically, he was putting me on alert. We had no way of knowing if or when either of these would actually materialize, how much notice we would get if one did, or even if we were really ready to leave yet. However, we did know that out of the six kids in Lexie's class, the only two girls (sisters) were definitely headed back to the states, the oldest boy was graduating, and her friend Christopher was probably heading off to boarding school. That would leave her and one other boy. We didn't think that was an environment she could thrive in, and knew we didn't have the guts to send her off to boarding school, so home seemed like the only other option. We decided we'd best be prepared. Once again I set myself the task of paring down our belongings, one room at a time, trying to finish up all my quilting projects so I could pack that stuff away, and taking the ever-dreaded inventory of everything we owned.

As far as school went, there was another teacher appreciation luncheon to plan and host, another play for the younger kids to help with, and scariest of all, The Science Fair. Lex had really blossomed under her fifth grade teacher Mr. Jacoby, who had done wonders for both her confidence and her concentration. She was doing better than we ever thought possible. Still, we couldn't help but be a tad nervous when, in late February, her science teacher (also the school principal) called an assembly for his older science students and their parents. Apparently, this was to be like no other science fair she had ever participated in -- a two month long project, with the first assignment (a typed outline of her problem, problem statement, hypothesis, materials, procedure, variable, control group, time line, dates of completion for each step and data collection sheet) due just four or five days later. Could she stay focused for that many weeks? Only time would tell.

One day our friend Jodi called to tell us that her hubby Steve and our buddy Dan were rigging up a little slip 'n slide thingy for the kids in the field behind their house, and we should bring the kids over to play on it the following Sunday afternoon. It never occurred to us to don our own swimsuits. We should have known that with those two engineers involved, and a bevy of willing volunteers to assist them (every driver and gardener in the neighborhood, I suspect) it would end up being waaaay more than "a little slip 'n slide thingy." Next thing I knew, I was headed down it, fully clothed!

When John's turn came, he made the mistake of grabbing a small donut-shaped tube, and tried to slide down sitting up. Because he was much larger than the kids, he gained momentum fast, and when he hit the mound at the end, instead of slowing him down as intended, it sent him airborne. I can see it all now as if it were a slo-mo replay. John is flying through the air in one direction, the float in another. We have no idea when he will land, where he will land, or how hard the landing will be. A pretty good description, now that I think about it, for our emotional state at the time, and all the questions we had regarding the move home. As it turns out, the answer in both cases was "pretty damn hard!"

A NEW YEAR'S LETTER HOME

4th January, 1994

Greetings Everyone,

Hope you all had a good holiday. As usual, I'm in my "Post-Christmas-Blues" phase -- which always starts at least a week before Christmas. I just can't stand for it all to be over with for another whole year! To cheer myself up, and because I was such a good girl and didn't even go on the ladies Christmas shopping trip this year, I'm taking Alexis out to Singapore just for the fun of it this weekend. We hope to take in a good movie and eat at T.G.I.Friday's. A new Chili's restaurant is supposed to be opening soon, but I don't know when.

Christmas day at the Tates' house.

Things were fairly quiet around here compared to Christmases past, but there was still plenty going on. Only trouble is, instead of having to see the same bunch of people over and over again at every party, you now have to see the same itty-bitty bunch of people over and over again. John and I sometimes stand there watching them, and wonder what on earth they could possibly have to talk about after all this time. (Answer? Each other!) The most fun party of the season, if I do say so myself, was the Bunco/dinner party for 8 couples that John and I threw. Also, another girl and I did a cookie exchange for the older kids, and that was fun too. I would have loved to make your new chocolate trifle recipe Mom, but we can't get Heath bars here, so I had to take my old traditional version to our annual Christmas day get-together with the Reehs and the Tates. The really exciting news this year is that, for once, our driver Yusuf and his family did not come for their usual two hours of just sitting and staring at us on Christmas day! For Christmas Alexis got about 99 different craft projects, including a candle-dipping set, a lap loom, a paper-making kit, etc. Unfortunately, by the end of the first week of vacation she'd done them all, and she was B-O-R-E-D! The second week was somewhat tedious.

We were a little shocked when we discovered that Kathy and Bud had sent 15 videos for the Silverman's son to bring us. I had led him to believe that there would only be a couple. Apart from the fact that he didn't have a lot of luggage space, there is the problem that videos are contraband here and can be confiscated by customs, so you have to hide them. He did manage to sneak in five, though, and we have really savored them. They are also in high demand around the compound. We shared our episodes of Seinfeld with the Silvermans, who are from New York, and they went wild over them. I'm sure they will put pressure on their son to squeeze in a few more tapes when he comes back in March. Can't wait!

Alexis' big excitement is that she may get to have an article published in a magazine! Prisi gave her a subscription to American Girl magazine, and apparently sent in a little information about her as well, when she saw that they were hoping to do an article about American girls who are living abroad. Anyway, this week she got this big, special delivery "urgent" envelope containing a questionnaire for her to fill out, and asking for photos as well. She is so excited! Unfortunately, a lot of other little girls received that same questionnaire, so let's hope her story makes it into the magazine.

The new cook is working out fairly well. I guess. It's great not having to make three meals a day from scratch, day in and day out -- especially when you consider how little I have to work with over here. But, I absolutely hate the fact that she's gradually rearranging my kitchen to suit herself, and now I can't find anything. Also, the kitchen has always been my home base, kinda like my hangout. Now Era keeps the door closed most of the time, to keep the smells in I suppose, and I find myself sort of drifting aimlessly about the house, not sure exactly where to settle!

P.T. Arun took away everyone's company cars as of the first, so we're back to being a one car family. Also, we know that they are pulling a few work permits in March, but the only one that we know of for sure is our next door neighbors, the Lyons. They are none too happy, since he was hoping to hang on another two or three years, until he can retire. Not sure if he will be able to find something else at age 57, or not. It's going to drive us crazy, not knowing what's coming, but there's nothing John can do but wait for his boss to find something in the job postings he gets, that might be suitable for us. In the meantime, we're trying to make plans for our summer home leave, and haven't a clue what to do! Should we travel home and back together, so we can get round-the-world tickets and stop in Denmark to see Eric on the way home, and in Hawaii on the way back, or should we wait and do Denmark and London next Christmas? Will we even be here still next Christmas? Should the kids and I stay all summer, so they can go to camps, etc., and just forget about stopping somewhere with John? But what if it's our last chance to ever see any of these places? The one thing John really wants to do is try and manage a trip up to Colorado to see Patti and Brad, who moved to Cortez when they left here, and maybe go to Creede while there. But should he take his vacation in June, July or August? If any of you have answers to all these questions, please feel free to share, so we can get this show on the road! In the meantime, I'll be right here, fretting. Take care, and write soon.

Oh yeah, Theda -- John really enjoyed the book and cologne you sent him, and the kids were ecstatic about their $40. We gave it to them in Indonesian money, which came to 80,000 rupiah each. They feel like millionaires!

RUNNING OUT OF TIME

Dearest Friends,

There had been lots of opportunities for travel since we had arrived in Indonesia. Groups of women were always going somewhere -- especially those who were there without children and didn't have much to do. Mostly I had declined their invitations, thinking my kids were too young to be left, we needed to save our money, there'd be plenty of time for that later, etc. However, as I slowly came to realize that this might well be our last year in Sumatra, a sense of panic set in. There was so much I still hadn't seen or done! What if I never got the chance to visit this part of the world again? It was right around then that one of my friends (I think it was Carol) announced that she was organizing a ladies' trip to West Sumatra. Traveling to such remote places without my hubby involved stepping waaaaay outside my comfort zone, but hey, it was now, or never. I took the leap. Oh my, my, am I ever so glad I did.

The Rumah Gadang, or big house, wit pointed roof tips resembling water buffalo horns.

West Sumatra is home to the Minangkabau people, a matrilineal culture where property and land passes down from mother to daughter. Men don't have much say in village activities, concerning themselves mostly with religious and political affairs. Padang, the capital and largest city of W. Sumatra province, was to be our first destination. It is a common transit point for surfers traveling to nearby islands, and for tourists, such as ourselves, headed for the W. Sumatran Highlands, including Bukittinggi (High Hill) and Lake Maninjau. I knew next to nothing about any of the places we were headed, but one thing I knew for sure -- I was headed for a grand adventure!

THE BEGINNING OF THE END

Dearest Friends,

I think Melody, Rich and their two kids were the first of our close friends to transfer out of Sumatra. Fortunately, they only went as far as Jakarta, so it wasn't too bad. We could actually go visit them if we really wanted to. When friend Patti found out that she, Brad, and their three littles would soon be heading to the States, she started to panic over whether she had seen everything she needed to see, and bought everything she needed to buy.

There was a whole lot of stuff you could buy in Jakarta that we never even saw out in the middle of the jungle, so that's exactly what she did -- she went to visit Mel! And, being such a good friend and all, I offered to go along -- just for moral support of course.

If there was anything left in Jakarta when we finished there, it certainly wasn't for lack of trying!

Once Patti and her family departed, it was as if someone had left the stopper out of the drain, for there seemed to be a slow but steady exodus from that point on.

BOTH THE BEST, AND THE WORST, OF GROWING UP OVERSEAS

Back to School Open House

Dearest Friends,

Know what I love about this picture? Check out the two boys center front. Look at the way little Travis, one of the youngest kids in the school, has his arm draped over older boy Jamie's, as if they were brothers. In a community this small, our kids made friends with everyone, and they soon learned that friends were not a disposable commodity. If you ditched your friends whenever they pissed you off, you'd end up very, very lonely, so they learned how to compromise. They learned that they could have friends of all ages and nationalities, and of both sexes -- kids whose interests and beliefs weren't necessarily the same as theirs, and who wouldn't always agree with them on every little thing. They learned that people could like them just as they were, even if they didn't have the "in" toys and clothes. Heck, they no longer had any way of knowing what was in! They learned that it's actually far better to have a teacher who makes you work hard, but stimulates your imagination, than it is to coast along in utter boredom. They also learned that it was important to balance that hard work with plenty of physical activity and creative opportunities. They thrived on being able to move about the classroom, and interact with the other students, including those in different grades. Most importantly, they learned that the universe was a very, very big place, and they were not the center of it -- that our way of doing things was not the only way, or even necessarily the right way. All this was the best thing about growing up overseas -- and it was the worst thing too, for it was going to make it very, very difficult to go back to the old way of doing things, and all but impossible to go back to the old way of seeing things!

ONE LAST FLING

Dearest Friends,

By the time we left Doss, John was running out of vacation. We headed back to Dallas so he could regroup before heading out on one last little adventure -- a father-daughter road trip! He was sooooo looking forward to spending some one-on-one time with Alexis, something he hadn't had much opportunity for since their Indian Princess campouts together when she was five or six. His primary goal was to deliver her to the aquatics camp she was to attend at Texas State University in San Marcos, but he figured it wouldn't hurt to swing by UT first, maybe do a little brain-washing while he had the chance. (Alas, that plan backfired big time -- she ended up choosing Texas State over UT!)

Lexie's roommate Lizzy, a friend from Indonesia

Once he was back in Dallas, he barely had time to pack his bags before having to return to Indonesia. I think he sort of dreaded going back alone, for there would be no furry friend there to greet him this time. While we were in Odessa we had got a phone call from our next door neighbor Judy in Indonesia. Apparently our housekeeper Asnah had come to her in a panic when she noticed there was something wrong with our beloved dog Munchkin, but she wanted us to know that she had called in the vet, and they were doing everything they could.

A few days later she had the onerous task of informing us that Munchkin had passed on. I have never been so torn. On one hand, I felt devastated over not being there to comfort Munchie in her final days. On the other, I felt guilty relief over not having to see her suffer. It had certainly been a summer for facing hard truths. Not only had we lost our beloved pet of almost fifteen years -- our first child, really -- we also had to face up to the fact that John's father was never going to get better, and his mother was teetering on the edge. Then we had to face up to the dwindling size of the school on our compound, and that by the end of the coming school year, there'd be almost no one left in Lexie's age group. Could we send her to boarding school? I don't think so. All of this meant, of course, that we needed to return to the States much sooner than planned, and there would be no point to, and no money for, buying a vacation home in the Hill Country just yet. Once the seed was planted, though, it never died. The following week, when my sister Carolyn and I returned to fetch Alexis, we took our time. We traveled the backroads, checking out little towns like Boerne and Comfort. Just in case. Some day.

Sister Carolyn in our room at the Crystal River Inn, in San Marcos

LIFE CHANGES: HOME LEAVE '93

Hangin' with the Price kids in Oatmeal

Dearest Friends,

When we first took our kids to live in Sumatra, we knew that the school only went up through 8th grade, and since we didn't plan on sending Lex away to boarding school, we knew we'd be wanting to move home about then.  After spending our entire first summer living out of suitcases, hopping from one house to another, we came up with the brilliant idea of purchasing a little cottage in the Hill Country that could be our vacation home for now, and eventually, our retirement home. Instead of our bouncing around all summer, the friends and relatives could come spend time with us in the Hill Country!  Brilliant, no? So, early on in this year's home-leave-planning, we made sure to include stops in Doss and Oatmeal, to scope things out, and even found Lex a camp to go to in San Marcos, which was near another favorite town, Wimberley.

No, he doesn't have a wandering eye. He's just at that stage where he felt the need to cross them for every photo.

Our first stop was in Ohio, where it was much cooler than we expected. Good thing we had sweaters in our carry-ons! John had a week-long school to attend in Cincinnati, and his brother's family lived not too far away in Middletown, so we got to spend lots of time with them while there.

John's twin brother -- who happens to be several years older than him. I could always look at him and say "OK, this is what my hubby will look like in about 5 years!"

At the end of the week we flew to Dallas, where we had left our Taurus station wagon with my folks. John drove straight out to Odessa the next day, but wanted the kids and I to stay in Dallas a little while longer. The reports we'd been getting regarding his father were so dismal, I think John needed time to adjust to the situation alone. He was probably worried about breaking down in front of the kids, and wanted to have his happy face in place by the time we got there. Not an easy task, since they had given up on trying to rehabilitate George in any way, and he had steadily deteriorated into a mean-spirited, over-sexed, wheel-chair-bound, diaper-wearing toddler -- not uncommon for someone who's had multiple strokes.

We arrived the following weekend, just in time to send Theda, who was in desperate need of a vacation, off to Ohio for a few days, to attend our nieces high school graduation. The kids went to a sports day camp over at the local college each morning during our 3-week stay, we took turns going for physical and dental checkups, and we met up with some of our old friends from Midland (just 20 minutes away) whenever we could. Apparently I didn't take a single photo while we were with George and Theda. I guess it was just too depressing. By the end of our stay there, we needed some serious cheering up, so we headed straight to College Station, to spend time with our dearest friends, Paula and Tim.

They were just what the doctor ordered! From there we headed to the Hill Country. First stop was spending the day with our friends Mark and Ann, who lived in the country near a cute little town called Oatmeal, which is near Bertram, which is near Burnett, which is near Marble Falls...if you keep going, you'll eventually reach a town you've actually heard of.  Anyhoo, when we first came to visit them here as newlyweds, I remember saying "Well, it's a great place to visit, but I don't think I could live there. It's just way too far from a mall or a movie theater!" The more we visited though, over the years, the more my opinion began to shift.

(to be continued)

YOU KNOW YOU'RE BEGINNING TO ADJUST WHEN...

7th April, 1993

Dear Friends and Family,

Sorry it's been so long since my last letter, but I was just way too busy having fun, with visiting sister Kathy, to stop and sit at the computer! We really had a blast, but I guess you could say her agenda ranged from the sublime to the ridiculous. We started off by picking her up in Singapore and going straight to Penang. We stayed at the same place we went to last year -- the one with all sorts of organized activities for the kids, the great rock slide into the pool, massages on the beach, little flags to raise when you wanted another drink, etc. (you get the picture!) Then we took her to Lake Toba back in Sumatra. Carolyn is the only one who can fully appreciate what you have to go through to get there, for she has now "experienced" travel in Indonesia!

Sister Kathy, a.k.a. Gus

First we had a one hour flight back to Medan -- not too bad, although you might not recognize any of the foods they serve on board. The Medan airport itself is the real adventure. No air-conditioning, lots of clove-scented smoke, millions of little porters in yellow jumpsuits who scramble for your bags, whether you want them to or not, and then head off in ten different directions, etc. Then there are the mobs of people, none of whom believe in queuing up for anything! Assertiveness goes first so, of course, we are always last.

We were met there by a very nice driver with a van who, unfortunately, spoke not one word of English.  (sad to say, our Indonesian isn't so hot either) He took us to lunch at Pizza Hut, and to the grocery store to stock up on "survival food." Then we embarked on the four hour trip up to Lake Toba, and this is where words fail me. All I can say is, thank heaven I had on my motion sickness patch, and was able to sit in back with my eyes closed the entire trip. I thought I had developed nerves of steel with regards to the local driving habits, but this was a true test! It was worth it though (easier to say, now that I've come out alive) for the lake truly is amazing. The island in the middle of it is larger than Singapore (so imagine the size of the lake itself!) and was originally the home of the Batak tribe, who were cannibals (we got to see some of their ancient stone tables, chairs and execution blocks) and they managed to withstand the influence of the Moslems by isolating themselves on the island and eating any strangers who ventured in. At least one intrepid missionary must have managed to infiltrate the island without being eaten, for now they are all Christians. They really love music and singing, and you see "Batak Singers" listed as entertainment at clubs all over Asia.  We stayed in some really neat cottages that resembled Batak houses, with roofs that are pointed on each end -- no A.C., but you don't really need it since it's nice and cool up in the mountains. Oh yeah, did I mention that this lake was formed in an ancient volcano crater?

After spending a few days here, we had to do the whole tedious trip in reverse. Unfortunately, I had used up my last patch, so I was green most of the trip. We were convinced of our driver's excellence when he managed to find us a little minit mart type place to stop at on the way home that actually had a clean bathroom. No, the toilet was not western style, but at that point, we really didn't care. Hey! That reminds me! A friend in Jakarta found this in her book on culture shock:

You know you are beginning to adjust to Indonesia when...

• you spend the night on the toilet, and don't bother mentioning it the next morning
• you sleep through the 4:30 A.M. call to prayer from the mosque's loudspeaker
• you don't flinch when faced with squatting over an Asian-style toilet
• you are positive cars in American movies are driving on the wrong side of the road
• you go on home leave, and try to bargain in the department store

I guess you could say we are very well-adjusted now!

Poor Kathy thought she was going to end her vacation by spending the week here at our house being waited on by our staff, lounging around the pool, and having facials and manicures at the salon. Unfortunately, she arrived right at the end of Ramadan (I swear I didn't know this when Bud bought her ticket last summer), which meant the help was on vacation the whole week, and the salon was closed. She's convinced I planned it that way so that I would have her help doing all those dishes by hand, and having to hang laundry out on the clothesline, since the dryer quit working the day she arrived! We still managed to have lots of fun and sun, then had a great couple of days in Singapore (hey Gus, remember eating Boober Cha Cha for tea at the Raffles, and almost wetting our pants, we got to giggling so hard?) before she had to head home. All in all, this has been a fantastic year for me, but next year will be rough. We are fairly certain we won't be having any more visitors from home, and the longer we are here, the more homesick we get. Also, the older Alexis gets, the harder it will be on her at school, since there will be less and less kids near her age.

Tonight is the dress rehearsal for John's play. He's done nothing but moan and groan about it from day one, so I was really shocked when I finally saw a rehearsal and discovered that he was great! The director says he is the most improved of all the cast members. His only problem is that he has trouble keeping a straight face when he says something funny, but I think the audience will love it all the more if he actually loses it during a performance! He swears he will never do this again, but maybe it will be like having babies, and he will forget about the agony after a while.

Not much else to tell, except to update you on our plans for the summer. Looks like we will be arriving in Cincinnati around 6:00am Sat., May 22, then in Dallas Sat., May 29, around 10:00 am. John will probably drive on out to Odessa the next day, but the kids and I will wait and fly out a week later. Luckily, we will be there to keep George company so that Theda can fly up to see Megan graduate from high school June 10th. Around June 28th we plan to head for the hills! (Texas Hill Country, that is) We hope to stop in and see the Reeh's ranch in Doss, meet up with the Sanfords in Fredericksburg, maybe take in Fiesta Texas in San Antonio, and finally end up by dropping Alexis off at camp in San Marcos on July 4th. We've discovered what appears to be a great one at Southwest Texas State University's Edwards Aquifer Research and Data Center. It's called Aquatic Studies Summer Camp, and they combine learning about pond, river and aquifer life with doing fun things every afternoon like tubing, rafting, and going to Schlitterbahn, Aquarena Springs, Seaworld and Natural Bridge Caverns. She's really excited, and it looks like her friends Lizzie and Jennifer Newsome will be going too (same one she went to Scout camp with last year).

Anyway, as soon as we drop her off we will head up to Dallas, since John has to fly out late on July 8th. Then I will have to turn around and go back to get Alexis the next weekend. Anyone care to go along for the ride?  It looks like July 16th will be the best weekend for our family trip to New Orleans, to celebrate Mom and Dad's 50th anniversary. May 1st is the actual day, but they are sneaking away on a cruise by themselves, and waiting until we get home this summer for the family celebration.

That covers just about everything, except for a 3 or 4 week orgy of malls, movies and restaurants, before the kids and I head back home around August 11th. Y'all take care, and let me know if anyone hears of any great activities for Mr. Austin to participate in this summer. We can't wait to see you all, and are counting the days until we head in that direction -- 43 to be exact!

P.S. I've got lots of pictures I'll be posting over the next few days. In fact, we took so many on these trips that I will have to sort through them first, and just pick out the best of the best!

THE BIG BLOW-UP

Dearest Friends,

In some ways my hubby and I are a lot alike. For one thing, we are both extremely non-confrontational. We'd do just about anything to avoid an argument -- our own, or anyone else's. In my case it was so extreme that just watching things like the Three Stooges or Abbot and Costello could make me twitchy. Part of this, I'm sure, is that neither of us has a glib tongue. John is a good listener, a great audience. I'm the one who thinks of brilliant rejoinders -- hours after the fact when it's too late to do me any good! Hence, we would surely lose in a battle of words, especially with someone who could think on the fly. Anyhoo, since we both hated arguing, and had not yet been taught how to handle disagreements productively, a lot of stuff was still getting swept under the rug in those days.

In other ways we were polar opposites. It was that classic half-empty/half-full scenario. No matter how bad things got, I usually managed to stay fairly cheerful. No matter how good things got, John still managed to stay fairly glum -- which created a nice balance, for the most part. While living the ex-pat life, however, it actually led to one of our biggest fights.

Miss Becky's nest in the Indo-house, where she did her thinking and writing.

You see, I did such a good job of making the best of things that, eventually, John would always forget that there was any down-side to my situation -- that I had given anything up, or made any trade-offs to be there. All he saw was that he had to go to work every day, while I stayed home with a maid and a driver. As if that weren't bad enough, I had the nerve to be all chipper when he got home each day, wanting to tell him about all the fun things the kids and I did while he was at work! Anyway, things finally came to a head one weekend when John went to make a peanut butter sandwich, and discovered we were out of bread. He blurted out something rather hurtful, on the order of "You'd think a woman who didn't have a damn thing to do all day could at least manage to keep bread in the house!", then grabbed the kids and headed off to the snack bar, leaving me standing there with my mouth agape.

Ten or fifteen minutes later, words finally came to me, but of course, I had no one to say them to. They didn't come in a gentle way, either. It was more of an eruption. I had no choice but to grab a pen and start writing a letter to my hubby. I don't remember exactly what was in that one, but I do recall it as one of my better letters -- one where I was able to open his eyes to a few truths, but in a humorous way. I think I started out apologizing for the error of my ways, and telling him he deserved much better. Perhaps he deserved one of the wives we knew who stayed drunk all day long, because it was the only way they could deal with the tedious monotony of their lives here. Or perhaps he should be with the one who was sneaking off to sleep with her hubby's best friend while he was at work. Then again, maybe he would prefer one of those who seemed to be back in the states or away on trips more than they were ever here on the compound, or, better yet, one who refused to come to Indonesia in the first place, even if it meant death to her hubby's career. Oh wait, here's an idea! Maybe I should trade in my part-time maid and the ordeal of fixing my whole family three meals a day, from scratch, almost every darn day, and get not only a live-in maid and a cook, like most everyone we knew, but also a nanny for the kids, like a few others had. That way I could devote every waking minute to his needs.

OK, maybe I didn't really say all that. I think I got a bit carried away there towards the end. Skip that last part and jump ahead to where I closed by saying something like "Silly me! I never knew I actually had a choice in any of this. I thought I had to quit my job at Chez Vous, say goodbye to my friends and family, and a home and a church I adored, to follow you to the ends of the earth. I thought it was my duty to make the most of the situation, and to stay as busy and cheerful as possible. I thought that was what you wanted! Was I wrong? If so, there is a simple solution. Book those tickets and we can be on the next plane outta here!"

His reply? "Damn, Becky! Did you have to go and make me laugh? Couldn't you let me enjoy my righteous indignation a little bit longer,  just this once?"

LETTERS HOME: BUT NOW WE'RE BACK!

Tuesday, August 25th, 1992

Dear Friends and Family,

Well, here we are, back home in Indonesia again. It's funny, but it really does seem like home to us now. Even the kids have finally admitted it. We've also discovered that there is a definite cycle to things over here. Back in May, when it was getting close to time for almost everyone to go on home leave, and after nine months of extreme togetherness here on the compound, everyone seemed to be unusually grumpy and short-tempered. But now that we're back, everyone is happy and cheerful, and even the scenery looks new and fresh for some reason. I'm sure it will wear off eventually, but it's especially exciting to me now that I know both my sisters will be coming to visit this year. I keep looking at things through their eyes, wondering "what will they think of this?"

The first week we were back the kids were just in a frenzy, trying to spend as much time with their buddies as possible, spending the nights back and forth almost every night, and going to the pool every day. Yesterday was the first day of school, and all the moms celebrated by having a coffee. Austin came home saying "I just LOVE first grade!" Alexis had a great day too. They've had a lot of changes this year with families moving in and out, and with four new teachers, so they have regrouped the classes. This year first and second grade are together, with a man for a teacher (Mr. Zavala), and Austin now has five little boys and four girls in has class (last year he was the only boy). Alexis' class includes third, fourth and fifth grades and only has five girls and one poor boy (he's new this year and Alexis thinks he's real cute!). Their teacher is Mrs. Poulin, the one Austin had last year.

I think the boys were all trying to look tough!

We still haven't moved into our new house yet. In fact, we've decided to move into a different one than originally planned, and it is still occupied. The family who has it now are lifetime expats, and they really went to a lot of trouble to make it more like a home (it even has a walk-in closet in the master bedroom!). The couple who had the other house hated being overseas and didn't spend one penny on fixing the place up. Anyway, this family has been transferred to Jakarta, and are supposed to be out by September 1st, then we just have to go in and paint it the colors we want and move right in -- I hope!

Guess that's about all for now. We have a busy week-end coming up. Friday is the third annual Huey P. Long day celebration (I have no idea why they have a party in his honor every year, they just do), and Saturday our illustrious Dr. Connoly is hosting a cricket match in honor of his son's 21st birthday (they're British) to be followed by a party at "The Cricketeer's Arms" (their house). Take care, and WRITE LETTERS!!!

Postscript from John:

Dad, you need to keep going to your therapy class. Regardless of what you believe, that is the only thing that has enabled you to get your strength back. If it wasn't for that, you'd not be able to walk at all. I know it's not pleasant for you but you have to cooperate with the people who are trying to help you. The bottom line is that Mother cannot handle you by herself and will need help for the foreseeable future. You should count yourself lucky she was able to find a nice young woman who was willing to do this kind of work. Don't give her a hard time. Please!

Well, got to get ready for bed and another day. Take care.

Love,
John

LETTERS HOME: HE SAID/SHE SAID

May 12, 1992

Dear Mom & Dad,

It was good talking to both of you this last Sunday. I hope I didn't take Dad away from his breakfast for too long. When I called up to the hospital, I got switched around to several floors before finally getting the right one. The operator was real good though, knowing I was calling from overseas, and she hung on until I finally got through to someone. I didn't mean to have Dad rushed out of breakfast, but it's been real hard getting lines out lately, and I didn't want to have to call back. Anyway, Dad, it sure was good hearing your voice on the phone. I hope you work with the therapists real hard so that when I come home I can take you out for some trips around town. I'm still looking forward to spending some time with you.

We will be moving into another house this summer. Even though we just spent some money on this one, fixing it up, the house we are moving into is slightly bigger and a little better floor plan. One thing about it is the location. It's right across from the school and in an area where most of the other kids live. That's the real reason for our deciding to go ahead and move. We'll give you the new phone extension when it's time. The mailing address will remain the same. In fact, sometime in July a new mail service will be initiated. You will be able to mail a letter to Dallas, then once a week mail is expressed over to Jakarta. From there it will be put on the company plane and flown down to the plant. It might save a few days on delivery, and will be cheaper for you. Not quite sure what all can be sent that way. No packages, I'm afraid. We'll let you know when that is in operation.

The kids are finishing up the school year. It will be over in just about 2 weeks. It's hard to believe that this year has passed so quickly -- at least for us! I think Austin has really started to like school, and he's going to like first grade even more. He's not too crazy about all the arts and crafts activities they do in kindergarten. Alexis has done pretty well, but still has some problems concentrating. She is being tutored in math right now, but only because she won't take directions from her parents. For some reason it's easier coming from some other adult.

I think Becky is beginning to get really excited about her trip home. All the reservations have been made and the tickets should be arriving soon. We sent Kathy some money to buy Becky a 35mm camera that I think Mother would like too. It fits into your shirt pocket but has quite a few features, including automatic film speed setting and focusing. You can take a look at it when we come home. We didn't buy it in Singapore because, unlike the good ol' days, it's now cheaper to buy those kinds of things in the U.S. Nothing is cheap in Singapore anymore, especially cameras and electronics!

Work over here has its pluses and minuses. The main plus is the money. I've got about 20% of my base pay going into the company savings plan, plus all the savings bonds and other things we have money going into. We set a goal of how much we wanted to save each year, and I think we are coming pretty close to that. A few years of this will give us a pretty good cushion. The nicest thing is that when we do come home, we won't have to furnish a house from scratch like last time. We already have all the furniture and appliances, so we won't have to lay out that huge chunk of money just to set up our household. That's why I want you to know that, if you need any financial help, all you have to do is ask. Save your money and let me help out now while I'm in such a good position to do so. We can easily spare some money now, so be thinking about it and we'll talk about it when I get home. Take care and I'll be seeing you soon.

Love your son,

John

11th May, 1992

Dear George and Theda,

Just wanted to get one more letter off to everyone, before it's time to head off on vacation. I can't believe we leave for Disney World in only 18 days! We're all awfully excited (well, except for poor John, of course). Kathy bought some guide books and did a lot of research, so she has an itinerary all mapped out for us. At first she agreed to go with us just so I wouldn't have to do it alone, but now I think she is more excited than anyone! We just got a real long letter from Mike and Prisi. Sounds like they are both really happy with their new jobs. I know it must be good for Mike's ego to finally be appreciated again, and I'm sure you are pleased to have that worry behind you. Now that all your kiddos are settled and happy, you have nothing to worry about except George getting well enough to enjoy the "invasion of the kiddles!" They sure are looking forward to seeing you all again.

Did we tell you that we will be moving into a different house later this summer? When we first got here there were no class 2 houses available, so they had to put us in a class 3 house. Now though, several families are leaving, and they have offered us a chance to move into a larger house. It's a tough decision. We never really expected this to happen, or we wouldn't have put so much into our current house. But, we are located on a small cul de sac which will be totally empty except for us by this summer. Also, it is the farthest street that has any expats on it, and it's a pretty good walk for the kids to get to school or to any of their friends houses. Consequently, they always make our driver Usuf take them! The new house practically backs up to the school, and will be so convenient if the kids feel like shooting baskets or going to the playground. Also, we will be smack dab in the middle of two streets full of kids. Oh well, at least having to start from scratch on painting and decorating will keep me busy for another year! The bad thing is, with so much more room, we might get the urge to buy more furniture!

Guess that's all for now. Take care, and we will see you before you know it!