LETTERS HOME: HE SAID/SHE SAID

May 12, 1992

Dear Mom & Dad,

It was good talking to both of you this last Sunday. I hope I didn't take Dad away from his breakfast for too long. When I called up to the hospital, I got switched around to several floors before finally getting the right one. The operator was real good though, knowing I was calling from overseas, and she hung on until I finally got through to someone. I didn't mean to have Dad rushed out of breakfast, but it's been real hard getting lines out lately, and I didn't want to have to call back. Anyway, Dad, it sure was good hearing your voice on the phone. I hope you work with the therapists real hard so that when I come home I can take you out for some trips around town. I'm still looking forward to spending some time with you.

We will be moving into another house this summer. Even though we just spent some money on this one, fixing it up, the house we are moving into is slightly bigger and a little better floor plan. One thing about it is the location. It's right across from the school and in an area where most of the other kids live. That's the real reason for our deciding to go ahead and move. We'll give you the new phone extension when it's time. The mailing address will remain the same. In fact, sometime in July a new mail service will be initiated. You will be able to mail a letter to Dallas, then once a week mail is expressed over to Jakarta. From there it will be put on the company plane and flown down to the plant. It might save a few days on delivery, and will be cheaper for you. Not quite sure what all can be sent that way. No packages, I'm afraid. We'll let you know when that is in operation.

The kids are finishing up the school year. It will be over in just about 2 weeks. It's hard to believe that this year has passed so quickly -- at least for us! I think Austin has really started to like school, and he's going to like first grade even more. He's not too crazy about all the arts and crafts activities they do in kindergarten. Alexis has done pretty well, but still has some problems concentrating. She is being tutored in math right now, but only because she won't take directions from her parents. For some reason it's easier coming from some other adult.

I think Becky is beginning to get really excited about her trip home. All the reservations have been made and the tickets should be arriving soon. We sent Kathy some money to buy Becky a 35mm camera that I think Mother would like too. It fits into your shirt pocket but has quite a few features, including automatic film speed setting and focusing. You can take a look at it when we come home. We didn't buy it in Singapore because, unlike the good ol' days, it's now cheaper to buy those kinds of things in the U.S. Nothing is cheap in Singapore anymore, especially cameras and electronics!

Work over here has its pluses and minuses. The main plus is the money. I've got about 20% of my base pay going into the company savings plan, plus all the savings bonds and other things we have money going into. We set a goal of how much we wanted to save each year, and I think we are coming pretty close to that. A few years of this will give us a pretty good cushion. The nicest thing is that when we do come home, we won't have to furnish a house from scratch like last time. We already have all the furniture and appliances, so we won't have to lay out that huge chunk of money just to set up our household. That's why I want you to know that, if you need any financial help, all you have to do is ask. Save your money and let me help out now while I'm in such a good position to do so. We can easily spare some money now, so be thinking about it and we'll talk about it when I get home. Take care and I'll be seeing you soon.

Love your son,

John

11th May, 1992

Dear George and Theda,

Just wanted to get one more letter off to everyone, before it's time to head off on vacation. I can't believe we leave for Disney World in only 18 days! We're all awfully excited (well, except for poor John, of course). Kathy bought some guide books and did a lot of research, so she has an itinerary all mapped out for us. At first she agreed to go with us just so I wouldn't have to do it alone, but now I think she is more excited than anyone! We just got a real long letter from Mike and Prisi. Sounds like they are both really happy with their new jobs. I know it must be good for Mike's ego to finally be appreciated again, and I'm sure you are pleased to have that worry behind you. Now that all your kiddos are settled and happy, you have nothing to worry about except George getting well enough to enjoy the "invasion of the kiddles!" They sure are looking forward to seeing you all again.

Did we tell you that we will be moving into a different house later this summer? When we first got here there were no class 2 houses available, so they had to put us in a class 3 house. Now though, several families are leaving, and they have offered us a chance to move into a larger house. It's a tough decision. We never really expected this to happen, or we wouldn't have put so much into our current house. But, we are located on a small cul de sac which will be totally empty except for us by this summer. Also, it is the farthest street that has any expats on it, and it's a pretty good walk for the kids to get to school or to any of their friends houses. Consequently, they always make our driver Usuf take them! The new house practically backs up to the school, and will be so convenient if the kids feel like shooting baskets or going to the playground. Also, we will be smack dab in the middle of two streets full of kids. Oh well, at least having to start from scratch on painting and decorating will keep me busy for another year! The bad thing is, with so much more room, we might get the urge to buy more furniture!

Guess that's all for now. Take care, and we will see you before you know it!

END-OF-THE-YEAR MADNESS

Dearest Friends,

The final weeks before everyone headed off were a mad flurry! There were all the usual end of the year activities at the school -- the handing out of yearbooks, reading lists and summer assignments -- but with the added trauma of knowing that many of your best buddies and half the teachers would not be coming back.

Austin's teacher, Mrs. Poulin (right), with the help of Ms. Patti, takes the pre-K/K kids on a field trip.  From the looks of it, a rather smelly, noisy field trip.  Perhaps a fertilizer or cement factory?

Alexis' class, with their teacher Mrs. Nybakke

A photo-collage for the yearbook.  With a school this small, you could afford to give each child lots of space!

Lexi's official yearbook photo. Dig those ginormous earrings!

Summer assignments from Lexi's teacher, and then she has the nerve to say "RELAX"? I hope you can read the cartoon at the bottom (click on image to enlarge). Quite humorous, considering how everyone reads books now.

Then, of course, there were the going away parties for all those who were leaving for good. There were preparations to be made for our unexpected housing move; arrangements to be made with our staff; plans to be made for the Girl Scout troop that another mother and I had decided to start, and for which uniforms, books and badges needed to be purchased in the States; advice to be gathered from all the home-leave veterans, covering everything from what we should pack (Nothing! Take empty, lightweight rolling duffles!), to what we should bring back with us, and which airlines and routes were best. I had to finalize arrangements for the Disney trip and meeting up with my sister; change plans for meeting up with my hubby, and all our other friends and relatives, to allow more time in Odessa.  It looked like Theda would be needing our assistance, since John's father was on the verge of getting kicked out of rehab for refusing to cooperate with any of the therapists, in which case their house needed to be made wheelchair accessible, and we'd need to bring in some help for his poor mom.  Whew! We were exhausted before we ever left home!

The biggest Hash of the year -- the one that ended up at the river -- where all the kids and dads had a blast, and most of the moms stood on the banks, keeping an eye out for snakes and yelling "Whatever you do, don't get that water in your mouth or ears!" (deadly parasites, you know)  You can see how much attention they paid to us.

JOHN AND THE KIDS WRITE TO PAPA GEORGE

Dear Papa,

How are you? I'm fine. I miss you a lot. I can't wate until summer so I can see you. This letter was written by a girl with lots of hope. How is Theda? I hope she is okay. I have lots of friends and a tutor. I think you have been thrugh enough alredy so this letter is full of love for Theda and you. Don't get mad, do as people say and you will get better. The whole family is woried about you. so pleas get well SOON! Give everyone hugs and kisses.

Love,
Alexis Lane





May 4, 1992

Dear Dad,

I hope you are doing much better by the time you get this letter. I have been thinking about you every day, wishing I could be back home with you. Mother will send me your schedule and I will try to give you a call. I tried calling you this weekend but you had already moved to the SNF section. The woman who answered in your old room didn't know where you had moved to. It's hard being so far away, not being able to do anything for you. I hope you work real hard on the therapy and are able to be at home when I come home June 12. We can still go out and play a little golf if you want. I thought I could rent a cart and you could ride around with me while I play 9 holes. I was also thinking we could go over to the doughnut shop each morning for coffee, to hang with your friends. Alexis and Austin are asking about you. They are looking forward to seeing you this summer. Don't worry too much about seeing them, they will be around all summer and will be able to come to Odessa a few times.

I won another golf trophy last weekend. Every time someone leaves here they hold a 9 hole scramble. We tied for 1st but ended up with 2nd place. Our team captain lost the putt-off. Oh well. That makes two trophies I've won this year. Keep this up and I will have to leave some furniture behind in order to make room for the trophies when I move home. I played with Becky's clubs this time. I decided I like her clubs better than mine.

Austin's good buddy is moving back to Alaska this summer. I don't know what he's going to do for a playmate next year. We pray that one of the new teachers coming in next year has a kid Austin's age. Several people are leaving this year and we are losing about 8 kids out of the school. That's quite a few considering how small the school is to begin with.

I guess that's about all the news for now. I'll write again later. There is a fellow going back to the US Wednesday, so I will get this letter to him to bring home with him. Anytime someone goes back to the States they usually end up with half a suitcase full of mail from everyone here. Take care, and I just want you to know we are thinking about you. Can't wait to get home to see you.

Love,
Your son John

Dear Papa,

how are you? I miss you. Sorry you have a stroke. get well soon I will see you very soon

Love Austin

Austin included a picture of a smashed snake he saw in the road because, well, what better to cheer people up? Right? (I think those are supposed to be tread marks going over the snake.)

DASHED HOPES

Dearest Friends,

Of all our friends and relatives back home, the one who was most determined to come visit us in Indonesia was my 72-year-old mother-in-law, Theda. I think she had always dreamed of traveling to exotic places, but she made the mistake of marrying a salesman who was always on the road, covering his territory.  As you can well imagine, whenever vacation time rolled around, the last thing he wanted to do was travel!

She'd always assumed, though, that once he was retired, he would enjoy traveling to art exhibits and craft shows with her, helping her to hang her paintings and set up her booths. After a couple of those mini-strokes, he did indeed take early retirement, but never made it further than his easy chair, where he  spent his time traveling from one television station to the next, instead.

I guess Theda saw this trip to Indonesia as her last chance for a big hurrah, and she was determined to make it work. If George didn't want to come with her, well, they had great neighbors who would keep an eye on him, and she had a wonderful sister who was a professional caretaker, who might come stay with him for a while. She began making her plans.

In early May, just before John was to begin his plant shut-down, and the kids and I were to head off on our big Disney adventure, we got an emergency call from John's brother. George had had another stroke. A biggie this time -- one that left him paralyzed on one side. There wasn't anything more they could do for him at the hospital, so they were moving him to a rehab facility. The rest was up to him. If he was cooperative, and worked very hard, he could learn to walk again. If he was uncooperative, they wouldn't waste their time on him. He'd be sent home in a wheelchair, and there he would stay. I suspect everyone who knew him was asking themselves the same question right about then: Was George's hard-headed stubbornness going to be his salvation, or his ruin? And what about poor Theda?

LETTERS HOME: OUR FIRST EASTER

April 19, 1992

Dear George & Theda,

Hope you had a happy Easter. As usual, they overdid it here -- we had to go to three Easter egg hunts this year, not counting the one here at home! They had a sunrise service on the beach Easter morning, which was really nice. Unfortunately, the kids just had to search for eggs before we left for the church service, so we were out there wandering around in the dark, at 5:00 a.m.!

George, I'm afraid I don't have a golf handicap yet. I'm still so bad that there is no point in keeping score. However, my goal is to make myself go practice at least twice a week, so maybe I will get a little better before we get to Odessa.

Theda, I'm really excited about your sculpture workshop. Have you been working on anything? I'm still waiting to see if Alexis got a place at the Girl Scout Camp outside of Dallas (between Athens and Palestine). One of her friends from here is going with her, so I think she will enjoy that -- plus, it would just be so much easier to get her there. When we hear for sure, we can cancel the reservation at Mitre Peak.

P.S. From John: As I mentioned on the phone, just hang onto any mail or packages that come to you. We can pick them up this summer. Anything you mailed now wouldn't get here much sooner anyway. So far everything seems to have gotten here ok. As long as you keep it to a single brown envelope, it seems to come through customs without any problems.

We thought we might be moving into a little bit larger house, but that deal fell through. We were second on the list, but the couple ahead of us had turned down houses a couple of times before.  Wouldn't you know, this time they took it! The location would have been better for the kids. From the way things look, I doubt anyone else will be leaving anytime soon, so no more houses will become available. Guess we'll just have to make do.

It has really been hot over here the last week or so. We are going to have to pick up some bamboo shades to help keep the sun out. We have two rooms that get very uncomfortable during the day. The addition of another window unit AC might help too.

I'm not using all my vacation days this summer so that we will have a few days we can use to take some side trips next year, particularly if we can get anyone to come over for a visit. Maybe we can go up to Bali for 3 or 4 days, then swing back down through Java to Jogjakarta, where all the old temples are located. We have done pretty well this year with saving money, so next year I think we can afford to loosen up a little, and take some trips. Well, guess I'd better close now. Give everyone our regards.

Your Son,
John

LETTERS FROM SUMATRA: SPRING BREAK

8th April, 1992

Greetings Friends and Relatives,

What's cookin'? I'm sure you will all feel sorry for me when I tell you that I have been without a maid or a driver for an entire week now (it's Lebaran -- the holiday at the end of Ramadan, when they finally get to quit fasting). I know you think I lead a disgustingly lazy life, and you're probably right, but the occasional week without staff keeps it all in the proper perspective -- i.e. no dishwasher, a clothes washer that doesn't work unless you stand right there the whole time and lift the lid every five minutes, no fresh fruit or vegetables unless you go to the deepest part of the market in Lhok Seumawe, where the smell of ripe durian is liable to have you tossing your cookies, and where we are not really supposed to go without our driver. Also, no frozen convenience foods, or even packaged mixes for that matter.  In fact, John and I were standing in the commissary the other day, and decided that there was not one single thing we could buy to make a quick, easy dinner with. It all has to be done from scratch, and that's providing you can even find all the ingredients you need. Right now one of our company planes is out of service, so they have cut out the weekly flights to Jakarta, and apparently that's where a lot of our groceries come from. So, the shelves are pretty bare right now. On top of all that, the kids have been on spring break this week, and it's been raining a lot, and most of their friends are away on trips. The moral of this story is, never stay home over spring break/Lebaran. Next year we are thinking New Zealand!

Mom, I got the packet of camp information you sent. Thanks so much. I think we will send Alexis for a week at Camp Betty Perot in mid-July. One of her buddies from here will probably go as well. The Hockaday and St. Marks day camps are just to #### expensive! Surely we will find something fun for Austin to do, there in town. I got a real nice letter from Prisi's parents this week. Alma included a little cookbook that some group there in Lafayette had done as a fundraiser, and it was called Tea Time Tasties. Looks like it's just our cup of tea! No kidding, the recipes really look great. It was sort of a neat coincidence too, because I had already decided to host a mother/daughter Christmas tea this year. It's still looking like John won't be able to go to Disney World with us, so we were very thankful when Kathy called and said she was game to take his place. I think we will all have a great time, except for poor John. Hopefully he will get to see Mike and Prisi though. I think he will arrive in Dallas on the 12th or 13th, and if I'm not mistaken, they will be there the week of the 14th.

Not much else to tell on this end. John needs to see a dermatologist in Singapore this weekend, to get another spot frozen, and we were quite thrilled for an excuse to go there on the company's dime (isn't that terrible, to get excited over your hubby's possibly cancerous spot?)! Some friends have offered to keep the kids for us, and I think John is really looking forward to getting away by ourselves for the first time.  In closing, I would like to share with you another tidbit from the never dull "Life with Austin" saga. We were sitting at the dinner table this week when, out of the blue, our six year old son asked "Do I have any anbrothers?" "I don't know," John replies. "What's an anbrother?" "Well, you know how Mom and Granny are always talking about their ansisters?  I just wondered, since I'm a boy, does that mean I have anbrothers?"

Well, take care, and write lots of letters!

MISS BECKY TAKES A STAND

Dearest Friends,

I have a confession to make. It is something I am not very proud of. Maybe if I give you a bit of background, you will find it in your hearts to forgive me.

You see, though there was much to be said for working for a large corporation like Mobil Oil, and we certainly liked working for them a heck of a lot more than John's previous company, there were a few drawbacks, the primary one being the amount of control they had over almost every aspect of our lives.

Big Brother
 (image from tvacres.com)

It was bad enough back in the states, what with their telling us when to move and where, every couple of years, and with their having held an axe over our heads, with the constant threat of being laid off, since right around the birth of our first child. Also, I can't tell you how many times they'd screwed up vacation plans, no matter how much notice we gave them, and there must be something really critical about our anniversary date because, I swear, it was pretty much a given that John would absolutely have to be out of town on May 31st each and every year. (Hmmm, do you think my hubby might have had a hand in that?)

In Sumatra, however, we had the added bonus of their controlling the school, our medical facility, our transportation, our housing, and even which food was available in our commissary. Since the only people we had to socialize with all worked for them as well, perhaps you can understand how, after a while, and in such close quarters, it could all start to, well, chafe a bit -- maybe even start to feel a little like you were one of those miners they sing about, who "owed their soul to the company store." Please keep this in mind, when I tell you about the no-good, dirty rotten thing I once did to my poor, sweet hubby.

If you recall, we had decided to start this year's home-leave with a trip to Orlando, since none of us had ever been to Disney World, or even Disney Land, for that matter. It wasn't easy, but we had finally managed to piece together our jigsaw-puzzle-plans for the summer, even managing to get the flights we wanted and to get booked into our first-choice hotel on the Disney grounds, despite only planning three or four months in advance, rather than booking a year ahead, as was recommended. We lucked out because our kids got out of school slightly before most kids in the states, which meant we could get there the week before the hordes descended. The nearer we got to our departure date, the closer to fever-pitch our anticipation had become. John and I were every bit as giddy as the kids, because we couldn't wait to see it all through their eyes, to share the wonder of their very first Disney experience!

One day, just a few weeks before school was to let out, John came home with some news. Now, since most every decision made at the office could have such a profound effect on our personal lives, I had got into the habit of reading my hubby's face when he walked through the door each evening, and I knew this news was bad before he ever even opened his mouth. I followed him back to the bedroom, closing the the door behind us. "Uuhm, Beck? I really don't know how to tell you this, but, well, they've moved the plant shut-down back a few weeks...to the same week as our Disney trip. I have to be here for it."

That was it. That's all he said. That's all he needed to say. The rest was understood. If he couldn't go, none of us should go. After all, it certainly wasn't his fault. He too was crushed by the news. We should put it off a year, so we could all share the experience together, and I was the one who should convey this news to the kids, in a way that wouldn't break their hearts (like that was even possible!) and wouldn't make John out to be the bad guy. That was my job. I have always been the "bad cop" to John's good cop.  I mulled it all around in my head for a moment or two, and then I told him "I'm so very sorry to hear this. It won't be near as much fun without you."